Chaos

At some point or another, we all have prayed for better days. Chaos or any of these – disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, upheaval, uproar, maelstrom; muddle, mess, shambles, free-for-all; anarchy, lawlessness, entropy, can truly destroy your future. You have to let go of that mess in its entirety. Doing this will allow you to attain everything the universe has for you.

Keep smiling while you’re letting go, living and planning for the future.

🙂

As we age, we have to grow for true maturity. Staying in the same head space and sometimes even the same place can hinder us.  Evolution is uncomfortable. You’ve become familiar with one set of norms and growth challenges you to be someone different. 

I know it’s scary but with every day your life should become enriched with ideas and opportunities of growth. This in no way means you’ll have a new personality on a daily basis. If for some reason this happens, please seek professional assistance. At 30+, I don’t even think of things the same as I did at 30. I can truly say I’m growing, opening up to new experiences and looking for a every opportunity to smile. 🙂

The purpose of my life may not be clearly visible but I’m acknowledging I want to get there. I believe everyone on this earth wants to live in their purpose – but how will you know if you’re stuck in the same spot. In order to discover everything or even a portion of what it feels like to live in your purpose you have to break away from some norms. Embrace the uncomfortableness of the process and BE GREAT. 

Have you noticed your evolution? Was it a welcomed change? 

The new year will be here in 5 days.  Don’t kill the good vibes stressing about the countless things you wanted to get done in 2016.  This is the most wonderful time of the year.  It’s reminiscent of a restart button. Check this quote out.

I certainly understand how this season can become the breeding ground for depression and ill thoughts. You can’t focus on the things you haven’t done, got or said.  This moment is it! Enjoy the present we’ll get to the laundry list of things you have to-do on another day. If this moment is a manifestation of how you feel, turn that thing around and create some good memories. 

When you step outside today, take a deep breath, look all around you, be thankful for what your life is RIGHT NOW, and smile. I’ll be with you as we prepare for 2017 but we won’t be doing that today – Okay!

I’ve taken my vision board down in anticipation of adding new items and removing accomplishments.  As we come within a few days of the new year, it’s time to focus on goal planning/review of a year come and gone too soon.  Seeing your goals and making a plan has truly helped me over the year.  When I looked at my current VB, I realized multiple things.

  1. It was realistic
  2. Some of my goals have changed
  3. This did not reflect the totality of my dreams

I haven’t picked up enough magazines to update it. However, over the holiday break I’ve set a date to make my edits.

In all honesty, I was conservative about placing my vision up on the board because I didn’t want to be questioned or judged.  This is MY VISION BOARD and I have a very specific idea about my future and I certainly can’t allow the fears of other to depict my happiness.

Oprah tells us to make our plans grandiose and believe we can have it all.  What you want is never too much… the idea you have to come to terms with is the plan to reach your goal.  Remember happiness is the goal.  It’s our time to believe in the dreams we have for ourselves.
Have you begun thinking about what you want to accomplish in 2017?  Did you experience success this year?

🙂

We all have heard about “speaking a thing/idea into existence.”  As we say in the baptist faith – claim it.  This is an idea I struggle with in my life and I’m sure I’m not alone.  Sometimes the things we believe in our hearts are NOT the things we speak out of our mouths.  Correcting this counterproductive behavior is paramount, now.

Within this month alone, I have spoken some things in pure honesty.  Ideas that I have been harboring on the inside have been given life.  As I come to some resolve on the path of my life and the things I want.  The main ideas that have swirled around more than any other are of marriage and having another child.

During my younger more immature stage of life, I confessed an idea that I would never get married to everyone that asked me the question.  This even included my father.  I believed if I was everything that my suitors requested me to be it would happen. However, relationship after relationship ended with wet pillows and heartbreak.  Then I decided this is NEVER going to happen for me.  This was my defense mechanism to people’s continuous questions about when and why regarding my marital status. Then there’s that ‘do you want another child’ question.  My answer has remained the same – NO.  The truth of this is of course I do but at what risk am I going to make that happen.  I refuse to have another baby out of wedlock. I know it’s the “in thing” but I’m not with it.  Over the next couple months, I’ll dig deeper into this and settle on my final answer.

Oprah expresses the importance of speaking your belief, not unauthentic ideas because words have power.  The things we say are believed by ourselves and those listening.  If you speak a falsehood, you’re the first to believe it.  Don’t lie or limit the possibilities of yourself.  Sometimes our fear of rejection and being let down take a crippling hold on us.  In these cases, a majority of us lean more on the pessimistic side of things.

Moral of this quote: Speak your beliefs in truth and don’t limit them. 

I’m not telling you to be by yourself or quit your significant other. We all need a little time to process our thoughts and desires in solitude.  This can include but not be limited to a break from social media, events and unnecessary conversations.  Sometimes we get so caught up in what others expect of us that we don’t pay attention to what we want from ourselves.

Recently, I counted all the commercial broadcast during a break in my show and I ended on 12. That’s an inordinate amount of impressions and information (some of it useless) we’re exposed to during an hour episode.  Then there’s the sound of our social feeds.  Videos, live streams and interweb conversation.  Heaven forbid you are in constant contact with others while you’re at work. Your voice becomes drowned out by the over abundance of opinions and ideas of others.  When would you ever have time to hear what you’re feeling or thinking?  I guess you’d have to settle for your dreams.

That’s not sufficient enough. You need the opportunity to come to some conclusions and generate a generate an action plan. So, put your phone on do not disturb or just schedule some time to just be alone with only the sound of your own voice. (Make it a house date. Just to keep down the chance of someone bumping into you while you’re out and about.)  I do this all the time. 

I very rarely let people get next to me.  There are several reasons for this and maybe one day I’ll expound on them.  My expectations are high when I consider a person to be my friend.  So, not having many friends works in and out of my favor to an extent and I believe in the idea of signs from above.  The side effects of this equate to destroying a relationship mentally very fast and within time abort connections making them non-existent to me.  Friendship is very important and I consider myself to be a good friend.  The combination of a sign and disappointment can be all too much for me.

img_0562

The faults that I carry include being too trusting at different points of my life.  I never nurture friendships with the ulterior motive of changing someone.  When you’re happy, I’m happy with and for you.  However, when you’re happy don’t take this time to take a crap on me and that’s exactly how I felt. This most recent lesson showed me that no matter how much you genuinely support someone, they have the tools to cause unrecoverable pain.  1 Corinthians 4:5 says “Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.”  I feel my eyes opened to something I needed to see and left wondering “how many times has this been done this to me’ and my eyes were wide shut to the disrespect.  The discomfort I felt was palpable.  Me, being the stoic person I am – I didn’t want to show it. I had to deal with it from the inside and it became the hardest thing to do.  The question remained – Who equipped them to hurt me? The answer: I did, by allowing their choices and actions to simultaneously affect me through a fabled connection called “real friendship.”  These emotions that began to brew inside me may not have been their intention but I immediately needed to do the work to heal.  I’m smart enough to acknowledge the change and separate myself.  The individual is completely oblivious to the infraction and for a short while, I wondered if I acted irrationally.  In my stubborn nature, I said, nope.  It’s what needs to be done in the efforts to take care of myself.

Yes, we could talk it out but at this juncture, I don’t think that will heal the pain I’m nursing.  No, talking will only exhume something I’m working to remove from my memory.  Will I miss the relationship?  The simple answer is – yes, but I’m in defense mode.  To be truthful, how can you be friends with someone you feel you need to protect yourself from?  You can’t!  That’s too much work.  I’m taking ownership of the part I played in this happening.  There’s so much going on in my life right now that working to salvage this friendship would be a waste of time I genuinely need for God only knows.  It’s time for me to be selfish.

🙂