Chaos

At some point or another, we all have prayed for better days. Chaos or any of these – disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, upheaval, uproar, maelstrom; muddle, mess, shambles, free-for-all; anarchy, lawlessness, entropy, can truly destroy your future. You have to let go of that mess in its entirety. Doing this will allow you to attain everything the universe has for you.

Keep smiling while you’re letting go, living and planning for the future.

🙂

As we age, we have to grow for true maturity. Staying in the same head space and sometimes even the same place can hinder us.  Evolution is uncomfortable. You’ve become familiar with one set of norms and growth challenges you to be someone different. 

I know it’s scary but with every day your life should become enriched with ideas and opportunities of growth. This in no way means you’ll have a new personality on a daily basis. If for some reason this happens, please seek professional assistance. At 30+, I don’t even think of things the same as I did at 30. I can truly say I’m growing, opening up to new experiences and looking for a every opportunity to smile. 🙂

The purpose of my life may not be clearly visible but I’m acknowledging I want to get there. I believe everyone on this earth wants to live in their purpose – but how will you know if you’re stuck in the same spot. In order to discover everything or even a portion of what it feels like to live in your purpose you have to break away from some norms. Embrace the uncomfortableness of the process and BE GREAT. 

Have you noticed your evolution? Was it a welcomed change? 

The new year will be here in 5 days.  Don’t kill the good vibes stressing about the countless things you wanted to get done in 2016.  This is the most wonderful time of the year.  It’s reminiscent of a restart button. Check this quote out.

I certainly understand how this season can become the breeding ground for depression and ill thoughts. You can’t focus on the things you haven’t done, got or said.  This moment is it! Enjoy the present we’ll get to the laundry list of things you have to-do on another day. If this moment is a manifestation of how you feel, turn that thing around and create some good memories. 

When you step outside today, take a deep breath, look all around you, be thankful for what your life is RIGHT NOW, and smile. I’ll be with you as we prepare for 2017 but we won’t be doing that today – Okay!

I’ve taken my vision board down in anticipation of adding new items and removing accomplishments.  As we come within a few days of the new year, it’s time to focus on goal planning/review of a year come and gone too soon.  Seeing your goals and making a plan has truly helped me over the year.  When I looked at my current VB, I realized multiple things.

  1. It was realistic
  2. Some of my goals have changed
  3. This did not reflect the totality of my dreams

I haven’t picked up enough magazines to update it. However, over the holiday break I’ve set a date to make my edits.

In all honesty, I was conservative about placing my vision up on the board because I didn’t want to be questioned or judged.  This is MY VISION BOARD and I have a very specific idea about my future and I certainly can’t allow the fears of other to depict my happiness.

Oprah tells us to make our plans grandiose and believe we can have it all.  What you want is never too much… the idea you have to come to terms with is the plan to reach your goal.  Remember happiness is the goal.  It’s our time to believe in the dreams we have for ourselves.
Have you begun thinking about what you want to accomplish in 2017?  Did you experience success this year?

🙂

I’m not telling you to be by yourself or quit your significant other. We all need a little time to process our thoughts and desires in solitude.  This can include but not be limited to a break from social media, events and unnecessary conversations.  Sometimes we get so caught up in what others expect of us that we don’t pay attention to what we want from ourselves.

Recently, I counted all the commercial broadcast during a break in my show and I ended on 12. That’s an inordinate amount of impressions and information (some of it useless) we’re exposed to during an hour episode.  Then there’s the sound of our social feeds.  Videos, live streams and interweb conversation.  Heaven forbid you are in constant contact with others while you’re at work. Your voice becomes drowned out by the over abundance of opinions and ideas of others.  When would you ever have time to hear what you’re feeling or thinking?  I guess you’d have to settle for your dreams.

That’s not sufficient enough. You need the opportunity to come to some conclusions and generate a generate an action plan. So, put your phone on do not disturb or just schedule some time to just be alone with only the sound of your own voice. (Make it a house date. Just to keep down the chance of someone bumping into you while you’re out and about.)  I do this all the time. 


This quote explains my journey to this point and the vision I have for my future. When I walked away from a decent job in 2012, nobody believed I would do it.  Until they got my resignation letter.  I mean – who walks away from a good paying job without another one lined up.  I remember the messages I received after the news went live that I was not returning to the assisted living facility.  Really!  I knew the things some people were going to say about me behind my back – hell it was going to be the same ole shit they always said, “she think she better than us, she can only do that because she living with her momma, she’s a liar and a fake.”  This was not a drill.  It was the real thing.  I had to show them who I thought I was.

I rarely stop to let others know the core of who I am.  The passions I have in my heart and the fighter |physical & spiritual 🙂 |I embody in my soul.  I’ve never been a bragging person.  Talking about myself has always been my weak point.  So, over time I’ve been underestimated, marginalized and sized up to be only everything I’ve allowed others to experienced.  This is extremely unsettling for me and takes me back to a familiar time in my life. (Somebody remind me to tell you all about that.) I know things have to change because there’s a small rumbling from someplace deep in my being that I know all too well.

Fast forward to today.  I’m in a position I never thought I would hold.  The opportunity is upon me to fulfill the dreams I have been holding closest to my heart.  People aren’t saying the same things about me behind my back as they once did a few years ago. Their commentary reveals a semi-perception of me.  The time has arrived for me to present the totality of my being. I am so much more than they see and it’s my current obligation to present myself in the best light.

Now is the time for me to accept the challenge of showing my contemporaries, protégés and predecessors – “This is who I am.” 

Let’s get to work altering the ideas others have about me. Crafted by me.

The #HealthyHairJourney is one of the most recognized tags in the world, right now. Everyone is embracing their natural hair or at least acknowledging those who have made the choice to take this journey.  Earlier this year I celebrated my 13th-year relaxer free and 3rd year with limited heat.  I’ve come to a very tricky fork in the road and the jury is still out with the verdict.

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Start of the year, my hair was booming.  Here it is after wash day in a flat twist. I noticed it was getting thicker and longer.  No one had touched my hair since the cut I received in November.  It was thriving and I was getting more excited about my next straightening and trim.  Time got away from me and I felt I needed to hold on a little while longer to retain a few more inches.  So, I decided to get some braids.

These felt comfortable.  The 1st set of braids I kept for 3 weeks.  On the next try, I called in the swift professionals at one of the local African braid shops.  Morning after morning, I jumped up, got ready for work and made sure my scalp was oiled.  I hadn’t had braids in a long time and I thought this would be the break I would need this year.  This had to be the best protective style for me.  My classic wig was starting to frustrate me – only because of its synthetic composition and the limited availability around town.  In addition, during this time I discover my hair is officially BLACK in color.  Not the same 1B it’s been my entire life.  The 2nd set lasted for 6 weeks.  I knew I needed to give my hair a break from this pulling of the braids.  This was my hair after removal.  I was in love.

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I did a YouTube search to find alternative protective hair styles to reduce the stress on my strands.  With an extra pack of braid hair on standby, I pulled off a high bun (but I didn’t get a picture).  I wore that for about a week but something wasn’t right with my hair.  It wasn’t performing as trained.  It felt harsh but I wasn’t plucking the knots anymore.  I knew I needed to get it trimmed.  Two flat twists with braid hair bought me a little more time.

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A subsequent wash day displayed some disturbing news.  I found several patches of hair in my head that were the length of my pinky finger.  WTF!?  When did this happen?  There were areas of my mane that are touching my chest, neck, and chin.  My heart and spirit sank – NOT AGAIN.  Let’s add this to the mix, I stopped taking the vitamins.  I was under the impression they were the cause of an acne breakout on my face.  I had no motivation to continue taking them.  I started to look into a salon near me to assist in getting my hair diagnosed.  My frustration with the possibilities was getting the best of me.  I conceded to the defeat with more flat twists and the shit still wasn’t feeling right.

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Can you see the difference from the beginning of the year?  I’ll answer for you – YES!  Even if you can’t just act like you can.  🙂  By the time of this picture, I had an appointment to get this shit resolved and see the true damages.  Let me just tell you – I had a severe breakdown when I saw it up close.  The hair was gorgeous in some areas and look like a rat had been chewing on it in others.  I held the tears back but I knew what needed to be done.  The truth of the matter is; I’d rather have healthy hair over long hair.  I ran my fingers through my tresses one last time and in one stoic breath I said: “cut it.”

img_1120Now, I’m back to the drawing board.  I’m not completely warmed up to this idea of entering salon life, again.  In this first week, has been so conflicting.  I miss my coils, curls, and the fullness of my hair in its natural state.  However, on the other hand, I like running my fingers and feeling the wind blow through it.  The compliments have helped immensely.  I hate this happened but I’m glad I’m strong enough to know when to let go.  More than anything else – I still had my edges!

I know what my signature look is and I’m going to achieve it.  The vitamins may get thrown back into the mix.  It looks like I need to go back to my old ways – mixing my hair products and staying on schedule.  Another old friend will be making a few appearances. Can you guess who it might be?  I know it’s just hair to some of you – to me, it’s another accessory to set your look apart from the rest.  Staying focused is the name of the game.  The rules might change but who’s going to judge me.  This one head of hair is a small portion of my own happiness – I don’t care what India Arie says.  LOL 😉

 

 

 

I really don’t know how long this “natural hair journey” is going to last.  The first big chop took place April 2, 2013 and I was making good progress.  A pretty good balance was created between protective styles and heat.  However, I developed a pretty nasty habit and it has been frowned upon.  After my appointment had to be cancelled, I had to figure out another plan. The results are bittersweet.  Stay around for the deets.

Let me start by saying, the time and effort that goes into natural hair care is underrated and appreciated.  These last few weeks have proven to be more stressful than any other week in my journey.  Every morning I’m brushing, twisting, fluffing, blending and styling to look presentable.  When I get home I’m thinking of a way to style it so I won’t have to manipulate it in the morning.  If the Mista wants to have a little QT, I’m out the game.  This whole routine had become very stressful to me.  Not to mention my almost non-existent wash days.  I’m up for work then out until the evening.  The domestic chores I need to complete are done during this time.  Then with extreme pleasure I head off to the football field for the games on Saturday.  On the seventh day, she rested and tries to get things together for the coming week.  Can you find the room for the detangling, pre-pooing, shampoo, condition, deep condition and style?  Right!  I couldn’t either.  I will honestly say that this journey has become very frustrating to me.  I wanted to do something about it and check the health of my hair.  You’ve seen the pictures of my hair over the year – it’s been growing.  It was time for someone to confirm the visual professionally.

I reached out to the 1st stylist to set up an appointment on a day I was planning to treat myself to a day of beauty.  She responded with her regrets due to travel.  Then I scheduled services with another stylist that I trust.  As we get closer to the day, I receive a text requesting I select another time due to an unforeseen event in their lives.  If I reschedule, I’m not going to do it at all.  Once I have my mind set on something, it’s either yay or nay.  I cancelled my appointment and was on the hunt for someone with education and availability.  I was recommended to a young woman in the Metro Detroit area that was familiar with the healthy hair practices. With faith the size of a mustard seed, I awaited for my appointment.

The location was nicely tucked away and welcoming.  I described my practices and the things I was interested in with my hair.  She talked with me about the products she was using on my hair and educated me on some of the things I have learned.  What I didn’t have much stomach for was her up sell of my need for a stylist on a regular basis, the phone conversations held while completing my hair and the amount of time used to complete the appointment.  The highest offense I took was her disparaging tone with regard to the education some of us naturalistas have adhered to on our journey.  Yes, all of these practices may not work to the favor and glory of everybody but they have guided and taught so many of us along the way.  Yes, my hair wasn’t in it’s best shape and I hadn’t retained as much lengthy as possible but I did grow my hair to collar bone length with no help.  I held my tongue and allowed her to do what I came for.  Wait, let me not forget how she talked down on the products I was using at home.  I knew in that chair I would never come back to this shop again.  Leaving crossed my mind several times but I was committed to the plan I created for the day.  She commenced to straighten my hair and it had grown tremendously.  I could have been prude and just figured it out for myself but I knew I needed to do this.  I had some problem areas and I needed her to resolve them.  She offered me a suggestion for Manetabolism.  I’ve never taken a vitamin for my hair but it’s worth a shot.  Let me give you the final diagnosis on my hair from the good doctor.

Even though my hair had grown substantially, I have been snapping the knots, split ends and being very rough with my mane.  It was discovered that there were multiple area of my hair where some strands were long and others were shorter in length.  She told me it may be “nervous energy” and you all know I had a lot going on over the past few months.  So she may have hit that disorder on the head and I told her to cut.  I’ve never been afraid of cutting my hair.  There’s another idea brewing in my head to retain as much length as I can in the next year.  Thant’s why I’m calling this BC #2.  Here are the final results.

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Does it look like mom hair?  I like it but I miss my fluffy 3c-4a hair.  The feeling of the wind blowing through my hair and wrapping it up every night brought back some old memories. I’m going to stretch this until Thanksgiving and then I’m getting back on the wagon.  After I straighten my hair I’m always worried about it not reverting to it’s natural state.  It’s so soft!  I refuse to fall in love with this because I can’t wait to see is all curled up.  Speaking of curls… those Lee beauty supply stores are only good for 3 things to me:

I was going to say 4 and add my wig but I just found some amazing placed to purchase from online.  Which I just ordered because I will need it in the off season coming up!  I didn’t even mention her “don’t wear wigs everyday” spill.  I think that’s what keeps my hands out of my hair most.  Anyway, I went and picked up some new flexi-rods because my sister lost the other set I owned.  In addition, I got some smaller perm rods for the shorter hair in the back and can’t wait to style it.  So, if you asked me if I like the cut?  I’ll tell you, yes, only because I’m thinking of every imaginable style I can recreate.


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I’ll post some style photos as I have a little fun.  The point of it all.  I’m still on the journey, experienced a setback but I’m positive it’s in prep for my comeback. 😉 Keep smiling!

The kids are back to school and mine is a player on the undefeated Martin Luther King Jr. Senior High School football team.  This month we’re going to celebrate.  I don’t know about the rest of you but I had a very rollercoaster-ish type of summer.  There were times when I wanted to give up, cried and felt overwhelmed by fear with everything going on.  Mixed in with all of that I was in love, proud and smiling.  I stayed strong and with the assistance of my family and having a little faith, it’s time to rejoice.

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Some days the only thing that got me through was knowing that it could be worse.  I had to remind myself that I was still blessed above anything else.  There were times when I would repeat my favorite bible verse, (Proverbs 3:5-6) and carry one.  I’ve made it through my 1st month on the day shift.  The Periscope channel is growing.  I’ve finally figured out how to us my Roku TV.  I actually had brunch with my father at a restaurant.  On that note, I have so much to celebrate.  Not to mention, I saw my 93-year-old great Aunt Lela and she still was as funny as ever.

You can’t get caught up in the storms of your life, especially when you have some many things to commemorate.  I don’t know if you need to pour yourself a drink, dance, jump or run and tell someone – do whatever makes to remember there is way more to get excited about than be sad.  If you don’t know where to start just 🙂

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I told you all that I had been going through some things lately.  Moreover, I decided not to let it get me down and create an action plan to prosper.  In some of my earlier posts, I have referred to myself as the girl from the Detroit hood.  After seeing this quote, I realized this is exactly what I was trying to communicate with that line.  My time in that environment shaped me, taught me and prepared me for the work I would have to put forward not to end up in those places.  When the kid was born I knew I had to do better not only for me but so he wouldn’t know the life I lived personally.

In essence, you’re more than the environment you grew up in or anything that could be view as a hindrence or advantage.  You are the collective product of the choice and decisions you’ve made.  I choose to win, to get over these hurdles and learn from these trying times.  Things aren’t how we want to be all the time but you can transform any situation. Take responsibility for your destiny and all the outcome that come before its fulfilled.  🙂