I know by now you’ve figured out I wasn’t doing my traditional yearly countdown.  There was so much going on and I wanted to handle this special time of year in a new way.  So, I decided to make an extra long post and bring you up to speed at one time.  I hope you enjoy it and let me know if you prefer the other way.  These are in no particular order but these are the moment that stands out in 2017. Let’s get it started.

Moving to 7732 – After a rocky and moldy ending (literally) in my old apartment, we were relocated to another unit on the complex. As you noticed through this blog and pictures on Instagram, I invested a lot of time into making that place feel like home. So when I moved over here, I didn’t even have the energy. We’ve been here since March and I still haven’t got this place organized. Let’s add that I truly thought I would be moving into the home I purchased this year but you all know what happened there. It’s a better apartment. Larger. Better views of the Detroit River. The neighbors are priceless. However, over the last half of the year, I’ve been living in a constant MAJOR construction site. They’re completely overhauling this property. This includes digging to install gas lines to offer residents forced and central air. Well, the majority of this smelly work is taking place right outside my windows and the smell is sickening. Now, the query on my brain is – do I wait for them to finish or move on to another place? I have time to think but I truly need to weigh out my options.


Year of Music – Oh, I saw some great acts this year starting with Thundercat. Chene Park offered up a few artists I couldn’t pass on. I didn’t hit the road as much this year for music but I had to see Chris Brown in Chicago. My cousin even got me out the house to see Xscape. Solange, Tyler the Creator, Boney James, Roy Ayers, Lalah Hathaway, Will Downing, Chante Moore and my jazz festival crew. In addition to those people, I saw a true legend this year – Patti Labelle. Outside of the live shows, I discovered a crew of new artists that I have every intention of seeing live – Smino, Moodchild, H.E.R, Daniel Caesar, and a few others.  My ears and heart were pleased. I didn’t make it to Paisley Park but I’ll get there in the new year.  My SeatGeek and StubHub notifications are loaded and I’m sure I’ll get around a little more in the new year.

AVMs – on Dec. 6, I called 911 to assist me because somehow the entire right side of my body went numb and I couldn’t get it to do what I commanded. As the dispatcher listened to my request for help, she asked, “why do you feel you’re having a stroke?” My response lacked no candor, ‘Bitch, because I’ve already had one. Help me.’ That was the best I could give her. The EMTs arrived and I dropped another B bomb. By the time I arrived at the local hell of emergency rooms, all my faculties were functioning. Afraid of a repeat battle with aphasia, I kept talking and reading everything. After a few hours and some rushed tests, they came back and said it was a TIA. Oh yeah, I thought, ‘fuck this I’m outta here’ and signed myself out. Then, my friend, Reggie appeared only to walk me back to the emergency room. (You never know how blessed you are until you look into the faces of your friends. My friends are unmatched. All of them are true blue. That’s only because they know the type friend I am.) As we sat there, catching up, laughing, trying to see if this nurse was worth him shooting his shot lol and talking about life, I appreciated him a little more. We were only planning to go out that night, I guess we did. Ha! He had done God’s work. I stayed in that hell hole until Friday. While I was there they diagnosed me as having another small stroke/TIA/vasoconstriction/AVMs. The reason it wasn’t a stroke is that I have no residual deficiencies. This TIA business was still up in the air but they presented 2 additional causes. These grabbed my attention and I needed to get to Dr. Miller at Henry Ford to confirm. I was active in a situation where I did NOT trust the people who had my life in their hands. After styling on them for one week in comfortable pajamas, twisting my hair daily, cleansing and moisturizing my face (thanks to Tamika) and laying on my satin pillowcase, I walked out calling my neurologist. He made room for me and I’m going to take all these findings over to him. I’ll let him tell me what our next steps are. One thing I know for sure, I’m going to live.

Rocket Love – After 4 years, the relationship I thought was going to mature into spending the rest of my life with Gino S., is over. Yep, that’s his name. I kept that real close, lol. himThis is the main reason I’ve gone missing over the last part of 2017. I don’t even have the energy to type it out. Bottomline: The feeling he had was that I was spying on him for the UAW or someone more powerful.  He’s being psychologically manipulated and I’m helping them do this to him. He doesn’t trust anything I say or even being around me. Trust me, I’m still confused but hey – maybe entering the institution of marriage – isn’t in the cards for me.  I still believe in love but at this point, I’m not sure if I even want to go through this again. This one hurt more than any other. The reason for this is because I’ve done none of what he believes and I truly felt I had found my best friend and life partner in this man. I stayed single for so long and when I opened myself up again, BAM I got hit. Understand this is the one thing I was protecting myself from and it still happened. Feel free to listen.  There is more but I just wanted to share a piece. My truth is all that matters to me.  Something that I’m not aware of happened (mental health issues) and he needed to push me away.

Book Author Ambitions – This year I decided to write a book. After writing this blog for 5 years and putting this idea on the back burner, I’m finally going to dedicate some time to finish it. If you follow me on Facebook, you can find out the title. I can promise you – it won’t be a short story. 🙂

New Assignment – In June, one of the best bosses I’ve ever had transitioned to the next chapter in his professional life. We truly had a great working relationship and you all know how much I enjoy stability but I had to accept this. His transition spearheaded mine and that included me moving away from everything I was familiar with except my parking garage. Lol, that had to remain the same. I may have started kicking and screaming. Moreover, this was my opportunity to show my worth on the team. Display that I had grown from the time I had joined the company. I had become more proficient and knowledgeable in the role. More importantly, this showed me they trusted me to transition seamlessly and learn about the new business organization I would be supporting. What I didn’t know was, this was only the beginning. At the end of November, I was informed I would be supporting our newest Senior Executive Leader. Wow! As word got around, the congratulatory messages and visits came and none was more surprising than that from Captain Stadwick. I still call him boss and always feel like I represent him and Rebecca. That’s the type of person I am – I just don’t want to disappoint the people that believe/support me. My new director seems nice and I’m sure we’ll build a great working relationship. Do I see you on the horizon STABILITY!? 🙂

Kid Graduating – I’m still excited about that kid graduating. He’s sincere about getting a degree. I think my sermons about making a life for yourself got through to him. With one img_4230semester under his belt, he’s still excited about school. We’ve experienced some bumpy roads but it was time for me to let him go & grow.  He’s becoming his own man and there’s not much I can do for him at this point.  He needs to work those things out for himself. I’m a little nervous about some military conversations he’s been having with some soldiers. I mean who would want their child to be in the military with a leader like 45. I’m not putting that guy’s name in my post but feel free to figure out who I’m talking about. Him graduating was certainly a major highlight of my life.

Lance – Y’all remember when I 1st start talking about getting a new car. I still love Cole but it was time for me to move on. After talking to our Technical Assistance Team, I settled on the CTS. Let me just tell you – I really love all the bells and whistles included in this vehicle. Eff all that – I love this car as a whole. The connectivity is unmatched. I haven’t even had it one year but I know I’ll be a repeat customer. It’s perfect for me. Don’t get me wrong there’s a vehicle from each of our brands that fit me. Buick LaCrosse, Chevrolet Silverado & GMC Yukon Denali. This Cadillac just spoke to me. Now, to try out the manual features when the weather breaks and only God knows when that’ll happen around Detroit. Lance

This hair – I still have my edges, more silver strands and it’s getting thicker. My plan is to wear wigs for the entirety of 2018. In addition, I will be doing chebe, hair supplements and deep conditioning on a regular basis. Some essential hair care practices were neglected throughout the year. My goal is APL by the end of 2018. I believe I can do it. So many stresses that were buried in my mind have eradicated themselves or I’ve made a pact to not allow them to drain me anymore. My complete health is important to me and that includes my hair. It may not be billowing curls like Tracey Ellis Ross but it’s all mine. I heart my hair, still.

My favorite Asian – On a quick getaway to Battle Creek, Michigan, I bumped into an Asian store owner. I’ll be the 1st to tell you, I only remember 25% of what he said. The thing that will remain with me until I die is something he said about time. “To waste time is to waste your life.” Even one minute is waste…. I share this message with you, don’t waste one moment of your life.

LIVE…. I’ll see you in 2018 with more smiles. 🙂

The flashy affair was over.  Finals were happening in a few days and The Kid was ready.  We attended the Senior Parent Breakfast and waited to pick up our cap & gown.  You will notice I talk about this moment as if it were mine but we worked at this. So, we celebrated this moment together.img_4143

Now, this senior breakfast wasn’t a high point for me.  Especially after I saw that buffet line.  In true fashion, that kid knew I wasn’t about that life and he got my pancakes. Not wanting to be a brat I stood in line for the other portion. During the running around, we took this picture. Yup – he got me by a few inches! God answered my prayers. 😉  This was the final whoo rah for the seniors.  The final grades were being calculated and the verdict would be announced the coming Friday.  These 10 days were taking the longest time to get to us.  This was the only moment we were really waiting on.  I told you about part of our struggles to get here.  See, his dad graduated out of summer school and he didn’t want to repeat that experience. We worked our asses off, he more than me but I kept a light fire under it to keep him on his toes.  Then June 9th happened and he handed me this when we met up with each other. img_4187.jpg

For the 3rd time during this journey, I shed a few tears.  He reached over and hugged me exclaiming “I told you I’d get it done.”  This cap and gown made it real. I held on to that thing like it was mine because somewhere in my soul it was.  I worried, prayed, and cursed to get him right here. I’m that teenage mom that had never even baby sat a child and here I was about to watch mine walk across the stage to accept his diploma. My expectations were firm but my methods kept changing but he did it.  Yeah, it would’ve been easier if he had done it my way but this was his story. I needed to let him do it his way.

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So the morning of the graduation was here, and I posted the picture that matched my mood.  Hashtag #TheFinisher – I was beyond ready and I even packed a handkerchief. img_3986

This picture captured everything I was feeling about this meeting.  In a graduating class of 262 students, all I could see was him.  He strolled pass me as they marched in the theater of the Michigan Opera House.  This was a long ceremony and for a short moment, I was ready to rip all the programs up because I didn’t see his name. When I found it in its respective area, #CarryOn. Then they asked the graduates to stand up and I was on my muthf’n feet -which happened to be in some 5″ heels but let’s go. Then I got this message: I remember this paper being in his room on his desk and of course he forgot it. Now, I gotta run down the aisle like I’m on the Price is Right. Then I got back to my seat and cheered for all the kids that spoke when they were on the phone with him, introduced to me, called me “Ma, Auntie & Ms. Wilson.” Then I saw him make his way to the stage. #Leego The announcer said Lorez Wilson and I lost it – screaming, clapping, jitting up the aisle (my footwork was unmatched) and I did all of this while taking pictures.

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Did you notIce me mention I cried? NOPE! I had shed all the tears prior to this day.  This day was for smiles. We did it. In 1999, this event seemed to be a million years away but with each passing year, I realized how close we were.  As we made our way out to the streets of Detroit, I couldn’t wait to see him and congratulate him one more time. I found him in the swarm of black and yellow.  His smile was as bright as the day but I saw something in his eyes.  We snapped a few images in the daylight.

I asked to see the diploma and he told me they had to pick it up from the school later on. WTH DPSCD? We left headed to Joe Muer for lunch with Grandma. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you he cut his hair off prior to graduation. I was looking at a young man ready to make his mark in the world.  Little did he know he had already done a good amount of that through me.  I was different because and for him.  He is the best part of me.  Everything I never knew I needed.img_4240
While we were at lunch I learned his dad had not shown up to the graduation, after I gave up my opportunity to monopolize this event. I knew I saw something in his eyes at the theater. It was sadness.  Afterward, he went and got a tattoo (how could I say no- I have 16) and I sat down to REST.  I thank everybody that was on this journey with me. All of your help was and still is appreciated.  You never left me out here to do this by myself. The village of Marti truly came through for this kid. There are so many to name but I’m positive I’ve already told you personally. Eternally grateful to you all for everything because I know your love for him is an extension of the love you have for me.

August 1st, while I’m sitting in my chair at work listening to inspirational music this little exchange occurred and it gave this chapter closure.

As we tackle this next mission, I’m positive he’ll be just fine but I’ll be right there to throw an assist if needed.

 

 

I know you all are tired of me doing this – the disappearing act. Even if you’re not going to say it, I’ll tell you. I’d be tired of it myself but I’m back and I appreciate you all for stopping in and checking while I was out of the office. 🙂 There is so much to catch you up on. This is going to go by very rapidly but you can expect a post from me at least 3x a week.  Here are a few highlights from the posts to come:

  • House Hunting
  • PTSA Elections
  • Prom
  • Lance
  • New Assignment
  • This Hair of Mine and so much more.

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I need you to have the trust of a mustard seed in me.  The postings will being Friday and continue until this entire story is available for your reading pleasure.  Catch you in a few!

First of all, I know this post is a quarter late and probably not what you want to hear from me but I’m remiss to keep you all up to date. We’ll get into the details of the last 3 months in the coming days and don’t get tired of me.  🙂 Let’s carry on from where I left off. I began this post and never came back to post it.

I’ve explained to you before that I’m not into resolutions. Planning is my sort of thing. The last time I did this was 2015 and that turned out pretty good. So, here I am prepared to document my plan for the new year. Please know these are in no particular order.

Prepare for all ID renewal

I need to renew all legal identification this year. This includes my driver’s license and passport. This is always a dreaded time for me. I wait until the last minute, don’t think my look out and end up settling with the outcome over the next couple years.  In 2017, I vowed to get everything prepared as if it’s New Year’s Eve. The picture below should serve as a reference. I’ll be sure to post the results through the year. Now, if I could get my hair to do this again I would be happier.  

Pack A Lunch

Last year, I struggled with packing my lunch. Only because it’s so convenient to go down into the food court at work and pick up something.  According to my banking analysis for 2016, I spent more than 2,500 on takeout.  WHO THE FUCK HAS MONEY FOR THIS? Certainly, not me.  I have to do better as I prepare for the next stages of my life.  So far, I’ve only spent a few dollars on takeout but my planning for a small afternoon meal is getting better. It totally includes packing my lunch and hauling that lunch sack into the office at least 4 out of 5days a week.

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Save More Money

My financial goals were realized in 2016. I saw the purpose of a savings account – and it certainly was not to purchase shoes and airline tickets on a whim. Thanks to my Facebook group, I’m doing all types of savings challenges.  Envelope, $5 bill and spare change. All funds from these initiatives will be deposited into my savings account quarterly to keep money from being in my home. In addition, I’ve planned to continue to figure out how I can cut costs.  Here’s an example of a savings challenge.

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Reduce Cholesterol 

With my recent health issues/concerns, I have become a prisoner to a Lipitor prescription. I want out of this medicinal jail. I know what I have to do and this is my way of getting it done. By the end of the year, I want them to tell me I don;t need the meds anymore. True, my numbers are not bad but I have to prove I can responsibly manage my cholesterol to reduce plaque production.

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Purchase Martha & Marley Spoon/ Blue Apron Box

After my birthday, the next day I’m in great anticipation about is not even Valentine’s Day this year.  It’s Feb. 13th. That’s when Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party comes back to VH1. I’ve always loved Martha. My mother is a really good cook and would watch her show every day after Oprah. I learned how to fold sheets, dye eggs and set up for a kickass dinner party. In my efforts to cook more, I stumbled across this subscription box from Martha. I’m on board and will keep you informed on how it all works out.

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Be moved by May

I have alot going on this year including several reasons to celebrate. This calls for a more visitor friendly environment.  My planning is based on being moved into another home by May.  We’ll see how this shapes up and I’ll keep you posted on the search options.  Will it be outside of Detroit? Not a chance! I know my heart would break. For every bad that everyone can point out, I know the good.  This will ALWAYS be home to me.

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Date Nights

I generally don’t do the same cliche things others do in relationships.  My independent spirit has always lead to me creating better memories and becoming more creative. This one has been playing tennis in my mind for some time.  These will be instituted this year especially in the second half of the year. In addition, I have so many clothes in my closet with tags only because I think it would be great for when we go out. Let’s ramp this initiative up with some urgency – I’m not getting any smaller. (wink wink) LOL

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Stop Frequenting Cheap Nail Salons

Within the last month of the year, I visited a really good foot doctor and he gave me some solid advice and unexcepted news. I’ll give you the good first. I didn’t have toenail fungus, just two badly bruised great toenails. The advice “you get what you pay for, maybe pay a little more for your pedicures to make sure they’re doing quality work.” Damn strip mall nail techs. You probably thought I was going to go there.  Not even but I thought this would give you a good laugh.

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Don’t Lose it at the Graduation 

I don’t know what I’m going to need to do but this one seems almost out of my control. Please direct me to some YouTube videos or something. I’ve already broken down at the championship banquet, senior parent meeting and on the sofa when he’s away. It’s something about that moment when you realizeY’all know I don’t want to embarrass the kid but something tells me it’s on the horizon.  Give me some tips or something!

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Park on Level 4 All 2017

I’m in between driving and ride sharing to work daily. I don’t mind driving but the walk from the parking structure is a chore some days. So, I’ve vowed to never park above level 4. at the end of ’16, they made us park in the company paid area or be locked in the structure. I like familiarity and driving around and around looking for parking is not a high point of my day. In the coming days, I’m considering purchasing a vehicle and this may change (you should see how some of these people park.) In the meantime, level 4 or bust.

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Everybody has their own goals and vision for 2017. These are the core items on my to-do list.  The numbers of the year have me energized, it’s me burfday scrambled. This seems like a pretty decent plan I can follow. What are your intentions for the next 12-months (or 9-months)?

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Last year my son informed me that he wanted to take the High School Test which is a big deal here in Detroit. See it’s the passing or failing of this test that let’s you know if you’ve been accepted into one of Detroit’s premier high schools. For the 1st time in his life, I felt he was taking some real interest in his future. It was a semi-cold afternoon in January as we rode toward the testing site and I asked him “Are you ready?” He said, “I’m fine.” During one of my regular chauffeuring trips to get him EVERYWHERE he needs to go. I told him I was proud of him and that everything would be alright. The closer we got to the hotel (that’s where they took the test) I sensed a change in his demeanor. When I pulled in front of the building he reached for the door and said “I just got nervous..” He opened the door, walked inside and that was that. When I came to pick him up after the test he made mention that it was easy. That’s when I got nervous!

The results take a significant amount of time to get in. The kids are on pins and needles wondering – Did I pass? #19 is coming home with bad news of his friends that didn’t pass. His own teacher told him he wouldn’t pass and that he was a failure. I hope you all know that I didn’t take her words light and my actions were straight from the GHETTO MOMMA HANDBOOK!! She got the message and left mine alone. His birthday came which is April 3rd and still no answer, on if he got in. One of his friends that came out with us told us that he failed. In some strange yet appreciated way, Lorez’s faith kicked in and he screamed to the top of his lungs that HE PASSED. I looked sideways, because I haven’t received anything in the mail stating that this was a fact. He explained to us on the ride home, they send out all the failing letters 1st then send those out to the students that passed. The next morning, I could’ve start calling him prophet Wilson. There the letter was informing us that he had been accepted to the Martin Luther King Jr. Senior High School of Detroit, Michigan. Needless to say he wasn’t as excited because he already knew, somehow.

May 8th, marked the day that we would go in for Freshmen orientation for the graduating class of 2017. Within the first 20 minutes, I broke down because my Duke, Manchild, Kid and favorite son was growing into a young man I was proud to call him my son. The majority of his friends decided to go to Cass. He was here all alone. The reality of this moment meant more to me than words will ever be able to describe. As a single mom I was beating the odds. This 14 year old black boy was taking life seriously, not becoming a menace to society or becoming another negative statistic. I shield my tears as not to let him see and took in this moment. My first-born was on his way to high school. Hell, it feels like I was just in high school (15 years ago, lol). Last & First Day The morning of June 5th, I pulled up to drop him off at the only school he’s ever attended in his educational career Martin Luther King Jr. Education Center Academy. Today was graduation day and it started at 1pm. With a truck full of emotion running through my body, I got dressed and there on time. As the graduates marched in I spotted my joy on any day, sitting there cooler than cucumbers on a side salad. Then my phone start vibrating. It was him texting me that his dad was coming to this glorious occasion. Let me be honest, I damn near lost it!!! All of the chapters from the GMH were running through my head: Wtf, wtf, wth, no he didn’t, somebody hold my purse, let me at him, I’m bout to tear this mutha down and who do he think he is!!! Then the Kid text me again and says “Calm down.” I told him I would try and he graciously replied thank you. I look up at him and mouthed that I loved him. Then I noticed a strange look on his face and right when I was about to text him, Shawn screams out “Hey Rolo!” The clown had moved closer to me and was trying to speak. My friend Daryl had to push the word hey out of my mouth, literally with a nice little shove. Then his mother appeared and I gave her a big hug and this other lady was with her. And you know what they wanted – SEATS, and I had a few. His godmother’s and Shawn’s seat, so I let them have them and opted to stand for the remaining portion of the ceremony. If my emotions weren’t already all over the place before, they sure as hell were now.

As they gave the awards, announced the schools that each child was promoted to Lorez stood alone as the only member of his class going to MLK High School. His cheering squad was the loudest because we already know the greatness that is within him. They announced that he held a 3.6 GPA his entire final year. He grabbed his certificate, walked across the stage and out of the first 2 portions of his primary education. Then I spied with my observant eyes this guy that looked familiar to me returning toward the rear of the auditorium after taking pictures… And I want to field goal kick the phone out of his hand with my 5″ heel sandals I was wearing. But I remembered the message “Calm down.” As the newly promoted high school freshmen walked out to meet their families and say their farewells to the staff, I shed a tear. I did it. I got him over this 1st hurdle. I stood there for a moment and took it all in and orchestrated an opportunity for me NOT to run into this guy that screamed out.. “That’s MY son,” that I almost recognized. Esha stayed back with me to keep me calm and I was glad she was there to bring me some peace, in a storm I was about to manufacture comparable to a hurricane.

I realized that I need to talk with his dad about the anger I harvested toward him in his absence in my rearing of this amazing child. That’s all I have to say about that.

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After the pictures were taken, we went to lunch, spent more money in honor of a job well done and enjoyed the company of good family and friends. I reflected on the events of the day. Something that I heard Oprah say came to me, “there’s a time in our child’s life when we as parents are the manager. Then we must shift to be the consultant.” My time was drawing near for me to become just that in his life. I’m very proud of him to this point and his future looks very bright if he stays focused on his goals. 🙂 for me – I have a high school student!!!

Congrats to all the GRADUATES this year!!!