As we age, we have to grow for true maturity. Staying in the same head space and sometimes even the same place can hinder us.  Evolution is uncomfortable. You’ve become familiar with one set of norms and growth challenges you to be someone different. 

I know it’s scary but with every day your life should become enriched with ideas and opportunities of growth. This in no way means you’ll have a new personality on a daily basis. If for some reason this happens, please seek professional assistance. At 30+, I don’t even think of things the same as I did at 30. I can truly say I’m growing, opening up to new experiences and looking for a every opportunity to smile. ūüôā

The purpose of my life may not be clearly visible but I’m acknowledging I want to get there. I believe everyone on this earth wants to live in their purpose – but how will you know if you’re stuck in the same spot. In order to discover everything or even a portion of what it feels like to live in your purpose you have to break away from some norms. Embrace the uncomfortableness of the process and BE GREAT. 

Have you noticed your evolution? Was it a welcomed change? 

I’m pretty organized. ¬†Every morning I’m up early – running through the things I mentally noted that I needed to take care of. ¬†Somehow, I manage to stop at least once a day to concentrate on what I was “suppose” to do. ¬†On occasion, I remember whatever it is and other times it comes to me as I lay me head on the pillow. ¬†I’m not proclaiming that I’m forgetful but I will acknowledge when change is needed. ¬†I was determined to get my schedule in in check and become more productive.

I purchased a daily planner from target the beginning of the year. ¬†Things were on track but I didn’t have enough space to write down what I needed. ¬†So, I only used the monthly view pages, which allowed me to see when I was doing things. ¬†I needed more! ¬†A colleague (HA! – I said colleague) of mine had shown me her Day Designer Planner early this year and I never forgot it. ¬†So I thought maybe this is something I need to invest in. ¬†Needless to say, I kept going with my poor method and wasn’t maximizing my day. ¬†In this new position, I realized that I had to get some order in my schedule. ¬†I was on the hunt. ¬†I liked the Day Designer but it wasn’t me. ¬†I went to my homie, YouTube for answers. ¬†Through a few comparison reviews and unboxings, I found the one for me in the eRiN Conderen brand.


Here it is! ¬†Isn’t it lovely? ¬†If you would like to hear the details of the order and features included, please follow me on Periscope @stoical127 for the live review. ¬†Why I chose to go with this company? ¬†I like the customization options because I don’t want to walk around with the same planner as everyone else. That’s just one of my quirks. ¬†The colors were bright and changed throughout the year in the planner. There are¬†motivation quotes, sufficient space to write and the little welcome pouch was a nice way to get you to try out other products. ¬†So I ordered the planner after I finally decided how I was going to decorate my work space. ¬†I decided on¬†the Cynthia Rowley Floral office collection to breathe a little life into my cube of beige.

After some very stiff competition, I went with my favorite shade of blue in navy surrounded by flowers and we know how much I love flowers. ¬†In an upcoming post I’ll show you how I decorated everything. ¬†There are still things to hang on the wall. ¬†You all know decorating takes time. ¬†It’s never as easy as HGTV will have you to believe. ¬†Is it wrong for me to want a chic chair or should I hold of until I get my library? ¬†ūüėČ ¬†I’ll be looking forward to your feedback in the comments.

Other reasons why I went with this I like the layout. It allows me to break my day up into 3 sections that are important to me and provide room for changes. ¬†I’m not taking about morning, noon and night. ¬†My days consists of fitness, work and evenings. ¬†I’ll have some pictures after I set it up for you to have a peek into my daily life. ¬†Another unconventional criterion was the CEO‘s energy. ¬†She put a face to and voice to the products. ¬†I felt she understood what some of us busy people feel. We want to take care of everything but feel there’s NEVER enough time in a day. ¬†Some people wouldn’t have cared that she made those YouTube videos but it mattered to me.

I’m in love and have picked up quite a few tips on how I can make planning fun and personal for me. ¬†The cover is my very own (check my IG: @bmisunderstood) picture and the cover can be switched out with another. ¬†This is awesome for me because I like to change things up from time to time and like the idea that I never have to lose my cover because it’s time for a new planner.

I’ll keep you updated on how everything progresses through the year and if this method works for me as well. ¬†ūüôā

USED

I told you all about the book sale the Detroit Public Library was hosting this past weekend. The book lover and cozy day reader in me got up early equipped with reusable shopping bags gathering coins for the parking meter. I was going to tackle the world before I was due to punch the clock. Get there early was the only thing on my mind. As I pulled into parking space number 6, I noticed the line growing. My strong legs and limited baggage carried me across the street in a hurry.

At 10 AM, the doors were unlocked and the herd drove into the basement of one of the most beautiful libraries, which is celebrating it 150th birthday this year. People brought boxes, their suitcases, grabbed available boxes to cash in on the savings. The books they offer are from the library’s collection that have been put out of circulation. Any type if book you can think of is here. All the mass production paper backs are 10¬†cents, other paperbacks are .50¬†and my favorite the hardcover books are $1. You can’t even beat that at the thrift store.

I loaded up my bag and read the descriptions to books that caught my interest and battled over a few titles. The war was started because I only allowed myself $20 for the event and I had to make the right choices. With my bag loaded with the books I decided to purchase I made my way to the cashier. Eighteen dollars later, I emerged from the real readers of Detroit’s speakeasy. Excited about the haul I hurried along with my day eager for day 2. You didn’t think I was done!

The second day I usually wait towards the end of the sale to appear. Just to see if there is anything I may have left and what the volunteers have added to the shelf. What literary gem did I discover this time? A pristine copy of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” by Harriet Beecher Stowe. I wanted it more than anything but day 2 is about pushing my literary boundaries into new genres. My young man helped me pick out a few horror books and knew that he would need to turn my light off at night. I only spent $6 on Saturday for a total of 24 books to read. That’s Beau!

Here are the titles from my latest haul. ¬†My love affair with Mark Twain continues as I picked up a copy of “Life on the Mississippi.” ¬†The author J. D. Mason captured me a few years back and I couldn’t remember if I had read these titles but I picked them up. ¬†(I also realized I need to make a list to take with me to reference while shopping next year.). “The New Basic Black” is an etiquette book for people of color and tips about how you should conduct yourself. ¬†Major side eye if you feel I should not have purchased this and my niece will being an etiquette class in the near future. ¬†It’s needed!

The book I’m the most excited about from my time attending this event over the years is an autograph copy of “Roots” by Alex Haley. I guard it with my life. In my Beau Miss decor there’s a big question about, how I plan to store these? Just wait and see! More than any thing else the proceeds of this great event benefit a worthy cause. ¬†That makes it a win win!

Charity

Have you read any of the titles I purchase this time? Does your local library release their books to the public? I would be interested in visiting locations in other cities and communities.

It’s that time again.¬† Black History Month and in true Beautifully Misunderstood style, I’m going to highlight a few things going on in & around Detroit.¬† Due to the fact that I’m a football fan and more importantly a Baltimore Ravens fan, the suggestions begin after the Super Bowl.¬†¬†Lol

Aspirant

February 4, 2013 Courage.¬† Free entry at the Henry Ford Museum for a National Day of Courage, marking Rosa Parks’s 100th birthday.¬† Have your photo taken on the Rosa Parks Bus.¬† Remarks by Julian Bond, American civil rights leader, and Eleanor Clift, political reporter.¬† It’s FREE. 9:30 a.m. – 9:30 p.m.¬† The Henry Ford, 20900 Oakwood Blvd., Dearborn.

Rosa Parks

February 24, Fresco. African-American Muralist Hubert Massey demonstrates his fresco technique.  Free with museum admission.  Noon-4p.m.  Detroit Institute of Arts, 5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit.

Massey

Now if nothing else moves you these two are FREE and happening in familiar locations to all in the area and great for family entertainment.

Traditionalist

February 16, W.E.B. Film.¬† “W.E.B. DuBois: A Biography in Four Voices” explores the historian, scholar and activist.¬† $8. 3 p.m. Charles H. Wright Museum of African History, General Motors Theater, 315 E. Warren Ave.

dubois

February 8, Black Women Rock. Celebrating vocalists, musicians and visual artists, BWR was founded by jessica Care moore as a tribute to rocker Betty Davis.  Free with museum admission. 7 and 8:30 p.m.  Detroit Institute of Arts, Rivera Court 5200 Woodward.

BWR

Upgraded

The upgraded section is for the die-hard Detroit Lovers.  Music runs through our souls and veins and these artist have definitely left a groove on our hearts.  Both gone too soon yet music to share and experience through all eternity.

February 9, Dilla Day. Talib¬†Kweli, Royce da 5’9″, Miguel Atwood-Ferguson, Frank N Dank, Illa J., B. Williams Experiment, DJ Sicari, DJ House Shoes and DJ Spinna¬†perform to honor late hip-hop producer, J. Dilla. $63. 8 p.m. The Fillmore Detroit, 2115 Woodward Ave., 313-961-5451 or LiveNation.com.¬† Shoutout to AllHipHop.com.

Dilla Day

February 12, The story of Marvin Gaye’s shooting unfolds in sister Zeola Gaye’s stage play, “My Brother Marvin.”¬† Stars Lynn Whitfield, Clifton Powell, Tony Grant and Keith Washington. $40. Through Sunday, February 17.¬† Fisher Theatre, 3011 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit.

Marvin Gaye

These are just a few recommendations for you and your family during the month they designated to honor the contributions of Black people in history.¬† What I aimed to do was give one event motivated by the past and a historian more recent and engaging to the younger population.¬† Mix it up how you see fit for you.¬† As I look at the list, you could pick an event for each week.¬† If by chance you have knowledge and information on other events that the public can become involved in, please add the information in your comments.¬† As always ūüôā we’re making history daily.

This man was influential in my life, I saw him almost everyday and gave me some of lifes great lessons and a pretty good puppet show.. Lol¬† Certainly he wasn’t exclusive to me.¬† He shed his light & wisdom on the world. ‚ÄúAnything that‚Äôs human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.‚ÄĚ

Mr. Fred Rogers

You already knew who¬†I was speaking of, right?!¬† The feel good guy with the sneakers & cardigans, Mr. Rogers.¬† Who knew as an adult I would venture back into my childhood archives and find something that’s relative in my life, right NOW.¬† Whatever journey you may be on, it gets a little easier if you have someone to share it with.¬† Talking can be cathartic, even therapeutic so it doesn’t become too much for you to bear on your own.¬† I am thankful for ALL the people I have around me that I trust to listen and lift me up during my journey.¬† Concurrently, I thank you for finding interest in me & staying with me… ūüôā

How many of us have the hardest time deciding what we want to do with our hair? In the past couple months I have considered cutting it all off (Ceaser¬†or 360 male inspired cuts) to¬†Halle¬†Berry’s chic pixie cut.¬† Believe me I’ve been through the gambit of styles.. (All except the infamous Jheri Curl or French Roll, lol)¬† Here’s just a few looks that have been apart of this proclaimed “Glamazon” within the past couple years….

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My favorite of them all is (drum roll please) – My Classic Curls with or without the blonde.¬† I truly enjoy my hair.¬† However, I’d like to go for the natural look.¬† I’ve been relaxer free since 2003.¬† Yet I’ve been a slave to my favorite¬†Kentucky Maid #222 pressing comb, straightens my hair¬†to a superfine texture.¬†¬† Moreover, ever since I got that Curly Afro, I’ve been wanting to go natural as far as wearing my hair with its natural curl.¬† Let me admit it’s something that a GLAM star as myself has great caution about.¬†¬† But when I get my hair washed I see the fluffy curls emerge as the water touches my hair.¬†¬† My desire is to have a head full of natural curls and love them without feeling inferior about my style.

Massa KM 222 (notice the double press teeth)

In my search to try to find something to do with my hair.¬† I concluded on cutting all the dead hair off and focus on having a healthier head of hair.¬† My stylist cut 3″ of my hair of with no malice or trepidation.¬†¬†I always knew she was a little¬†“Scissor-Happy,”¬†lol.¬† I felt different¬†immediately, ¬†always believing there was some truth in the notion of “your power being in your hair.”¬† So , I researched how to achieve my hair goals and came into an overwhelming amount of information.¬† Between Google, YouTube, E-Commerce¬†& friends, some key information was gathered but I needed a rest from it all.¬† I needed to make a plan for MY HAIR’S HAPPINESS.¬† Because don’t get it confused your hair has a special way of communicating with you & if you think it doesn’t you better pay attention.¬† I’ve had times where I felt bad & washed my hair and¬†had instant¬†relief.¬† (But that’s just my testimony, lol)¬† Now what are my hair goals?!?!¬† Here’s the¬†concluded list:

  • Strength/Less Breakage
  • Chemical Free
  • Shoulder Length¬†
  • Ease of Styling¬†¬†

The selection of “Protective Styles” left me some room to still be glamorous and conscious of what I was doing to my hair.¬†¬† Buns, braids, sew-in weaves and wigs will be my saving grace as I transition.¬† Techniques such as the flat twist, Bantu knots and two strand twist and a gang of others, especially the wash & go¬†will help we determine the look I want to go for.¬†¬†What¬†I’m looking to achieve is on the unexpected side from me.¬† But it’s my choice to become free of some of the beauty practices I’ve held on to for so many years of my life.¬† Some of them¬†NOT promoting the success of the goals I had set for my hair.¬† This is me & this hair¬†as of this very moment…

My Healthy Hair

So now I’m on the hunt to find products that will work to help me in this process.¬† Products that allow the natural texture of my hair to shine, not only physically but figuratively.¬† I’ve tried the Carol’s Daughter line of products¬†and open to experiment with others.¬†Through the research¬†my 1st “Beautifully Tressed “regimen¬†is a combination of¬†Miss Jessie’s Original Cr√®me de la Curl Cleansing Cr√®me,¬†Cr√®me de la Cr√®me Conditioner and virgin coconut oil for moisture as a pre-shampoo treatment.¬† I¬†discovered¬†two (2) tips¬†that I plan to use 1) adding honey & coconut oil to your conditioner – for added moisture. 2) crushing garlic cloves and add to conditioner and let it rest on your hair for 1 hour – stop shedding (I keep a few bulbs of garlic in the kitchen)¬† I also will be taking the Hairfinity & MSM (Methylsulfonylmethane: organic sulfur compound)¬†vitamins to promote more growth.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted with updates, product reviews and regimen changes as I work to accomplish my hair goals…¬† As always SMILE and keep :)…

Every month, I will be giving my Beautifully Misunderstood family a quote that resonates in me.¬† As we work to bring our dream of HUGS to the community.¬† I wanted to share this quote with you.¬†¬†I’d like to give this lesson to¬†all the girls around me as they grow into¬†women.¬† The passage is appropriate for anyone who needs that push to become their authentic self.¬† Pass these familiar words along.¬† “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” Audre¬†Lorde ¬†

Audre Lorde

Now, I know some of you remember this from the 1999 movie “The Best Man” staring Taye¬†Diggs, Nia Long and other great performers.¬† I never could quite get the quote right when I tried to remember it from the movie.¬† Forgetting would be impossible, now!¬† Don’t¬†be eaten alive.¬† Make a move for the SELF you want the world to recognize.¬† Be proud of your decision and do it with a SMILE :)….