As we age, we have to grow for true maturity. Staying in the same head space and sometimes even the same place can hinder us.  Evolution is uncomfortable. You’ve become familiar with one set of norms and growth challenges you to be someone different. 

I know it’s scary but with every day your life should become enriched with ideas and opportunities of growth. This in no way means you’ll have a new personality on a daily basis. If for some reason this happens, please seek professional assistance. At 30+, I don’t even think of things the same as I did at 30. I can truly say I’m growing, opening up to new experiences and looking for a every opportunity to smile. ūüôā

The purpose of my life may not be clearly visible but I’m acknowledging I want to get there. I believe everyone on this earth wants to live in their purpose – but how will you know if you’re stuck in the same spot. In order to discover everything or even a portion of what it feels like to live in your purpose you have to break away from some norms. Embrace the uncomfortableness of the process and BE GREAT. 

Have you noticed your evolution? Was it a welcomed change? 

I very rarely let people get next to me. ¬†There are several reasons for this and maybe one day I’ll expound on them. ¬†My expectations are high when I consider a person to be my friend. ¬†So, not having many friends works in and out of my favor to an extent and I believe in the idea of signs from above. ¬†The side effects of this equate to destroying a relationship mentally very fast and within time¬†abort connections making them non-existent to me. ¬†Friendship is very important and I consider myself to be a good friend. ¬†The combination of a sign and disappointment can be all too much for me.

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The faults that I carry include being too trusting at different points of my life. ¬†I never nurture friendships with the ulterior motive of changing someone. ¬†When you’re happy, I’m happy with and for you. ¬†However, when you’re happy don’t take this time to take a crap on me and that’s exactly how I felt. This most recent lesson showed me that no matter how much you genuinely support someone, they have the tools to cause unrecoverable pain. ¬†1 Corinthians 4:5 says “Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.” ¬†I feel my eyes opened to something I needed to see and left wondering “how many times has this¬†been done this to me’ and my eyes were wide shut to the disrespect. ¬†The discomfort I felt was palpable. ¬†Me, being the stoic person I am – I didn’t want to show it. I had to deal with it from the inside and it became¬†the hardest thing to do. ¬†The question remained – Who equipped them to hurt me? The answer: I did, by allowing their choices and actions to simultaneously¬†affect¬†me through a fabled connection called “real friendship.” ¬†These emotions that began to brew inside me may not have been their intention but I immediately needed to¬†do the work to heal. ¬†I’m smart enough to acknowledge the change and separate myself. ¬†The individual is completely oblivious to the infraction and for a short while, I wondered if I acted irrationally. ¬†In my stubborn nature, I said, nope. ¬†It’s what needs to be done in the¬†efforts to take care of myself.

Yes, we could talk it out but at this juncture, I don’t think that will heal the pain I’m nursing. ¬†No, talking will only exhume something I’m working to remove from my memory. ¬†Will I miss the relationship? ¬†The simple answer is – yes, but I’m in defense mode. ¬†To be truthful, how can you be friends with someone you feel you need to protect yourself from? ¬†You can’t! ¬†That’s too much work. ¬†I’m taking ownership of the part I played in this happening. ¬†There’s so much going on in my life right now that working to salvage this friendship would be a waste of time I genuinely need for God only knows.¬†¬†It’s time for me to be selfish.

ūüôā

 

 

We all have a bucket list and even if you don’t there are a few things you’ve identified that you have to do. ¬†I’m just like you. ¬†Over the past few days, I acknowledged the things I want to do as soon as he is he goes away to school. ¬†It may be safe to say these are the things I want to do after he turns 18. ¬†It may not be impressive to you but I wanted to share and document it for myself. ¬†Lord knows I don’t need another list running around me. ¬†ūüôā

1. Watch the sun rise (DAILY).

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In the summer of 2014, I moved right on the Detroit River. ¬†Two years have passed and everybody has been trying to figure out why I’m not in my backyard more often. ¬†I don’t even have the answer to that. ¬†Sometimes when I’m on my way to work, I look at the sunrise in my rearview mirror and I’m amazed. ¬†The sight fills my spirit with optimism. ¬†In the future, I’d like to take the time, have a cup of tea and take it all in every day.

 

2. Discover USA via Amtrak

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Train travel is exciting to me. ¬†It’s not as quick as planes, involved as a car or luxurious as a cruise ship. ¬†It’s practical. ¬†This mode of transportation takes you to a time when this was the fastest method known to man. ¬†There’s a great percentage of this vast land that I haven’t seen. ¬†I didn’t realize Amtrak serviced so many destinations on my list of places to see. ¬†The fares are relatively cheap. ¬†A round trip from Detroit to St. Louis was $162.00. Chicago is the central hub of all the activity. ¬†So, the plan is to travel to Chicago every other month and journey into one of these foreign places to experience them. ¬†I might not make it to the West coast via train but the other locations look rather exciting.

3. Travel to Europe

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My passport expires Feb 2018 and I still haven’t made it across the Atlantic Ocean. ¬†This will come to an end next year. ¬†I’m gifting myself a European vacation for my 18 years of parenthood. ¬†You can call this a Pull Gift – you know the reverse of the Push Gift. ¬†ūüôā ¬†(The one I wear almost every day.) ¬†I haven’t narrowed down the exact location but the contenders are:

You’ll be the 2nd to know where I’ve decided to go. ¬†ūüėČ

4. Purchase a home in Detroit

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I’ve been renting for a couple of years now. ¬†Let me tell you – I don’t like it at all. ¬†The amount of money I’ve paid out in the last 2 years was enough to purchase a small bungalow in Detroit. ¬†The jig is up next year. ¬†This year I have been focused on resolving some concerns on my credit report and rehabilitating my credit score. ¬†My hopes are to raise it enough that I will not need a special program to purchase. ¬†The downtown Detroit market is booming. ¬†This area is first on my list due to my 7-10 work commute. ¬†Right now, I am unsure if I want a house or condo. ¬†I’ll¬†know what’s best for me when I get there. ¬†This probably should’ve been number one but who’s judging me. ¬†lol

My Area

5. Start an aquarium

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This originally said get a dog or start an aquarium. ¬†Then I did a “what type of dog is best for you” quiz. ¬†Let’s just say the results didn’t appeal to me. ¬†So, the fish won. ¬†I know owning a saltwater tank is hard work but I have a secret method. ¬†My dad! ¬†He’s the guru on aquatic life and starting aquariums. ¬†The freedom of fish is very calming to me. ¬†I would get a bird but I’m terrified of them. ¬†The dog would have made a great companion but considering my work schedule and travel plans that might not be the best idea. ¬†I’ll swim with the fish and allow my dad to teach me how to maintain it.

6. Start dream car project

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It’s hard to be from Michigan and not have muscle car dreams. ¬†This is the ‘Motor City.’ Home of the Woodward Dream Cruise. ¬†On my vision board you will see several old model vehicles and I plan to start that collection soon. ¬†The 1st vehicle I have selected is the classic 1970 Chevy Chevelle SS. ¬†I don’t want to trick it out. ¬†My vision is to restore it to its showroom beauty. ¬†I have found a forum to purchase from and gather parts. ¬†In addition, I plan to do part of the work. ¬†I bet you can guess what the exterior color will be. ¬†#itsMyFav This will become my Friday/Saturday car.

7. Learn to play piano

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I’ve always wanted to purchase a piano. ¬†Where’s the joy in owning a piano if you can’t play. ¬†Over the next several years I will make this dream a reality. ¬†I think you all know how important music is to me. Yes, I may not become Roberta Flack¬†but I will enjoy the learning opportunity.

There may be more things I want to do with this newfound freedom. ¬†This is just a quick list off the top of my head that I wanted to share with you. ¬†Just a few things to encourage my happiness. ¬†ūüôā

 

I really don’t know how long this “natural hair journey” is going to last. ¬†The first big chop took place April 2, 2013 and I was making good progress. ¬†A pretty good balance was created between protective styles and heat. ¬†However, I developed a pretty nasty habit and it has been frowned upon. ¬†After my appointment had to be cancelled, I had to figure out another plan. The results are bittersweet. ¬†Stay around for the deets.

Let me start by saying, the time and effort that goes into natural hair care is underrated and appreciated. ¬†These last few weeks have proven to be more stressful than any other week in my journey. ¬†Every morning I’m brushing, twisting, fluffing, blending and styling to look presentable. ¬†When I get home I’m thinking of a way to style it so I won’t have to manipulate it in the morning. ¬†If the Mista wants to have a little QT, I’m out the game. ¬†This whole routine had become very stressful to me. ¬†Not to mention my almost non-existent wash days. ¬†I’m up for work then out until the evening. ¬†The domestic chores I need to complete are done during this time. ¬†Then with extreme pleasure I head off to the football field for the games on Saturday. ¬†On the seventh day, she rested and tries to get things together for the coming week. ¬†Can you find the room for the detangling, pre-pooing, shampoo, condition, deep condition and style? ¬†Right! ¬†I couldn’t either. ¬†I will honestly say that this journey has become very frustrating to me. ¬†I wanted to do something about it and check the health of my hair. ¬†You’ve seen the pictures of my hair over the year – it’s been growing. ¬†It was time for someone to confirm the visual professionally.

I reached out to the 1st stylist to set up an appointment on a day I was planning to treat myself to a day of beauty. ¬†She responded with her regrets due to travel. ¬†Then I scheduled services with another stylist that I trust. ¬†As we get closer to the day, I receive a text requesting I select another time due to an unforeseen event in their lives. ¬†If I reschedule, I’m not going to do it at all. ¬†Once I have my mind set on something, it’s either yay or nay. ¬†I cancelled my appointment and was on the hunt for someone with education and availability. ¬†I was recommended to a young woman in the Metro Detroit area that was familiar with the healthy hair practices. With faith the size of a mustard seed, I awaited for my appointment.

The location was nicely tucked away and welcoming. ¬†I described my practices and the things I was interested in with my hair. ¬†She talked with me about the products she was using on my hair and educated me on some of the things I have learned. ¬†What I didn’t have much stomach for was her¬†up sell of my need for a stylist on a regular basis, the phone conversations held while completing my hair and¬†the amount of time used to complete the appointment. ¬†The highest offense I took was her disparaging tone with regard to the education some of us naturalistas have adhered to on our journey. ¬†Yes, all of these practices may not work to the favor and glory of everybody but they have guided and taught so many of us along the way. ¬†Yes, my hair wasn’t in it’s best shape and I hadn’t retained as much lengthy as possible but I did grow my hair to collar bone length with no help. ¬†I held my tongue and allowed her to do what I came for. ¬†Wait, let me not forget how she talked down on the products I was using at home. ¬†I knew in that chair I would never come back to this shop again. ¬†Leaving crossed my mind several times but I was committed to the plan I created for the day. ¬†She commenced to straighten my hair and it had grown tremendously. ¬†I could have been prude and just figured it out for myself but I knew I needed to do this. ¬†I had some problem areas and I needed her to resolve them. ¬†She offered me a suggestion for Manetabolism. ¬†I’ve never taken a vitamin for my hair but it’s worth a shot. ¬†Let me give you the final diagnosis on my hair from the good doctor.

Even though my hair had grown substantially, I have been snapping the knots, split ends and being very rough with my mane. ¬†It was discovered that there were multiple area of my hair where some strands were long and others were shorter in¬†length. ¬†She told me it may be “nervous energy”¬†and you all know I had a lot going on over the past few months. ¬†So she may have hit that disorder on the head and I told her to cut. ¬†I’ve never been afraid of cutting my hair. ¬†There’s another idea brewing in my head to retain as much length as I can in the next year. ¬†Thant’s why I’m calling this BC #2. ¬†Here are the final results.

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Does it look like mom hair? ¬†I like it but I miss my fluffy 3c-4a hair. ¬†The feeling of the wind blowing through my hair and wrapping it up every night brought back some old memories. I’m going to stretch this until Thanksgiving and then I’m getting back on the wagon. ¬†After I straighten my hair I’m always worried about it not reverting to it’s natural state. ¬†It’s so soft! ¬†I refuse to fall in love with this because I can’t wait to see is all curled up. ¬†Speaking of curls… those Lee beauty supply stores are only good for 3¬†things to me:

I was going to say 4 and add my wig but I just found some amazing placed to purchase from online. ¬†Which I just ordered because I will need it in the off season coming up! ¬†I didn’t even mention her “don’t wear wigs everyday” spill. ¬†I think that’s what keeps my hands out of my hair most. ¬†Anyway, I went and picked up some new flexi-rods because my sister lost the other set I owned. ¬†In addition, I got some smaller perm rods for the shorter hair in the back and can’t wait to style it. ¬†So, if you asked me if I like the cut? ¬†I’ll tell you,¬†yes, only because I’m thinking of every imaginable style I can recreate.


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I’ll post some style photos as I have a little fun. ¬†The point of it all. ¬†I’m still on the journey, experienced a setback but I’m positive it’s in prep for my comeback. ūüėČ Keep smiling!

The kids are back to school and mine is a player on the undefeated Martin Luther King Jr. Senior High School football team. ¬†This month we’re going to celebrate. ¬†I don’t know about the rest of you but I had a very rollercoaster-ish type of summer. ¬†There were times when I wanted to give up, cried and felt overwhelmed by fear with everything going on. ¬†Mixed in with all of that I was in love, proud and smiling. ¬†I stayed strong and with the assistance of my family and having a little faith, it’s time to rejoice.

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Some days the only thing that got me through was knowing that it could be worse. ¬†I had to remind myself that I was still blessed above anything else. ¬†There were times when I would repeat my favorite bible verse, (Proverbs 3:5-6) and carry one. ¬†I’ve made it through my 1st month on the day shift. ¬†The Periscope channel is growing. ¬†I’ve finally figured out how to us my Roku TV. ¬†I actually had brunch with my father at a restaurant. ¬†On that note, I have so much to celebrate. ¬†Not to mention, I saw my 93-year-old great Aunt Lela and she still was as funny as ever.

You can’t get caught up in the storms of your life, especially when you have some many things to commemorate. ¬†I don’t know if you need to pour yourself a drink, dance, jump or run and tell someone – do whatever makes to remember there is way more to get excited about than be sad. ¬†If you don’t know where to start just ūüôā

According to my post, The Pledge of 2015, everything is moving as planned there is only one that slipping away. Moreover, I have time to correct that one. ¬†In the mean while, we must begin embracing this fall weather that is upon us. ¬†This is not my favorite season but it ushers in the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” ¬†I’m getting excited just thinking about it. ¬†Let me not get ahead of myself. ¬†Here are the essential items I have tracked down for MY¬†wardrobe.

I’ve been sitting here all summer looking for one of these hats in prep for the cooler months. ¬†In a last-ditch effort to secure one before they are all gone, I found one that meet my specifications. ¬†There is still a need for one of the featuring the floppy brim, but we’ll handle one¬†chapeau at a time. ¬†This whole finishing the look thing is starting to grow on me. ¬†Hats are always a good move for me – great for semi-bad hair days.

ASOS Matador Felt Hat

Wide leg trousers have been a love of mine for years. ¬†I know this isn’t the ideal garment for a small frame woman. ¬†Yeah yeah yeah –¬†I still like ’em. ¬†If you know where I could snag a cool pair, let me know. ¬†This image is strictly for reference. ¬†They need to be above the naval and wide. ¬†I see the look in my head and can’t wait to hit these crazy Detroit streets in them.

High Waist Crepe Wide Leg Trousers

Something tells me in my heart of hearts that I’ve had a cape and really didn’t know what it was until it was gone. ¬†Hell, I don’t even remember it. ¬†THIS as my cousin would say is as good as GOT. ¬†This piece screams personality, sophistication and undeniable style – don’t that sound like me. ¬†I like the idea of the black but if I discover an ecru or camel colored one. ¬†Lord, please still my heart every time I want to wear it.

WOOL BLAZER CAPE BLACK

The is no fall, spring, winter or summer for that matter that doesn’t require Timbs. ¬†It’s beyond a cultural thing. ¬†These are the new Air Force 1s. ¬†They can turn any look on its head and change the game up. ¬†Try a nice floral dress featuring beautiful makeup or distressed denim accompanied by the infamous white tank and these hoofers. ¬†I don’t know about you but I like the sound of it. ¬†I ruined my last and a new pair is an obligation. ¬†It’s that unexpected piece in any woman’s wardrobe, that isn’t working in manufacturing or construction.

CLASSICS

The 90s was a great time! ¬†Baggy clothes, plaid and dark lip liner. ¬†Who could forget the golden age? ¬†NOBODY! ¬†I remember owning a hunter green bodysuit that displayed my lady lumps perfectly. ¬†Well, they’re back and I’m jumping back on the saddle. ¬†The designs are fresh and the curves of my womanhood fit perfectly in place. ¬†Being more confident in my body and skin is going to make for a better experience in 2015 and beyond.

Bodysuits

Your list might be different and mine might grow some more. ¬†That doesn’t change the fact that I need to pick these couple of garments up to add to my collection. ¬†Whatever you do within the last few months¬†of the year, make sure it’s Beau Miss

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It’s a job in itself working in my building. ¬†There’s the 10 minute walk through a hamster tunnel/ skywalk and 2 security check points before you even get to your desk. ¬†This generally causes me to stay on the floor until it’s time for me to go. ¬†A few days ago, I decided to do something different- go outside for lunch. ¬†Completely appreciative of the experience I wanted to share it with you.

Campus Martius

My co-worker decided to take advantage of the last days of summer and our hour lunch by going out to discover food. ¬†I’m a sucker for something delicious and nutritious! ¬†As we were walking down Brush, we couldn’t quit figure out where to go. ¬†In haste we decided to go see what was happening at Campus Martius. ¬†What we found was good and worth the 15 mins sliced from our final deadline. ¬†There were food trucks and ample seating to enjoy the afternoon.

Woodward Fountain

After some quick investigative work, I decided on the brisket sandwich from Smokehouse which came with coleslaw. ¬†I really don’t eat anyone’s slaw but my mother’s. ¬†(Apologies for not taking a picture of it for you, I really didn’t know a post would manifest from the 45 min excursion.) ¬†She chose the gyro and lemonade.

BBQ Food Truck

We were served a found seating by the fountain and Detroit Beach.  Other than the bees and birds frisking me out beyond frustration, it was a beautiful way to escape the concrete and glass building we reside in for work purposes.

They said they’ll be out there for the rest of the month. ¬†I have to sneak back over another day to steal another moment. ¬†This is certainly a must do in Detroit. ¬†ūüôā

A Beautiful Day