Shake and Enjoy Mixing it up durin… By Marlea Z. Wilson Book Preview
I know by now you’ve figured out I wasn’t doing my traditional yearly countdown. There was so much going on and I wanted to handle this special time of year in a new way. So, I decided to make an extra long post and bring you up to speed at one time. I hope you enjoy it and let me know if you prefer the other way. These are in no particular order but these are the moment that stands out in 2017. Let’s get it started.
Moving to 7732 – After a rocky and moldy ending (literally) in my old apartment, we were relocated to another unit on the complex. As you noticed through this blog and pictures on Instagram, I invested a lot of time into making that place feel like home. So when I moved over here, I didn’t even have the energy. We’ve been here since March and I still haven’t got this place organized. Let’s add that I truly thought I would be moving into the home I purchased this year but you all know what happened there. It’s a better apartment. Larger. Better views of the Detroit River. The neighbors are priceless. However, over the last half of the year, I’ve been living in a constant MAJOR construction site. They’re completely overhauling this property. This includes digging to install gas lines to offer residents forced and central air. Well, the majority of this smelly work is taking place right outside my windows and the smell is sickening. Now, the query on my brain is – do I wait for them to finish or move on to another place? I have time to think but I truly need to weigh out my options.
Year of Music – Oh, I saw some great acts this year starting with Thundercat. Chene Park offered up a few artists I couldn’t pass on. I didn’t hit the road as much this year for music but I had to see Chris Brown in Chicago. My cousin even got me out the house to see Xscape. Solange, Tyler the Creator, Boney James, Roy Ayers, Lalah Hathaway, Will Downing, Chante Moore and my jazz festival crew. In addition to those people, I saw a true legend this year – Patti Labelle. Outside of the live shows, I discovered a crew of new artists that I have every intention of seeing live – Smino, Moodchild, H.E.R, Daniel Caesar, and a few others. My ears and heart were pleased. I didn’t make it to Paisley Park but I’ll get there in the new year. My SeatGeek and StubHub notifications are loaded and I’m sure I’ll get around a little more in the new year.
AVMs – on Dec. 6, I called 911 to assist me because somehow the entire right side of my body went numb and I couldn’t get it to do what I commanded. As the dispatcher listened to my request for help, she asked, “why do you feel you’re having a stroke?” My response lacked no candor, ‘Bitch, because I’ve already had one. Help me.’ That was the best I could give her. The EMTs arrived and I dropped another B bomb. By the time I arrived at the local hell of emergency rooms, all my faculties were functioning. Afraid of a repeat battle with aphasia, I kept talking and reading everything. After a few hours and some rushed tests, they came back and said it was a TIA. Oh yeah, I thought, ‘fuck this I’m outta here’ and signed myself out. Then, my friend, Reggie appeared only to walk me back to the emergency room. (You never know how blessed you are until you look into the faces of your friends. My friends are unmatched. All of them are true blue. That’s only because they know the type friend I am.) As we sat there, catching up, laughing, trying to see if this nurse was worth him shooting his shot lol and talking about life, I appreciated him a little more. We were only planning to go out that night, I guess we did. Ha! He had done God’s work. I stayed in that hell hole until Friday. While I was there they diagnosed me as having another small stroke/TIA/vasoconstriction/AVMs. The reason it wasn’t a stroke is that I have no residual deficiencies. This TIA business was still up in the air but they presented 2 additional causes. These grabbed my attention and I needed to get to Dr. Miller at Henry Ford to confirm. I was active in a situation where I did NOT trust the people who had my life in their hands. After styling on them for one week in comfortable pajamas, twisting my hair daily, cleansing and moisturizing my face (thanks to Tamika) and laying on my satin pillowcase, I walked out calling my neurologist. He made room for me and I’m going to take all these findings over to him. I’ll let him tell me what our next steps are. One thing I know for sure, I’m going to live.
Rocket Love – After 4 years, the relationship I thought was going to mature into spending the rest of my life with Gino S., is over. Yep, that’s his name. I kept that real close, lol. This is the main reason I’ve gone missing over the last part of 2017. I don’t even have the energy to type it out. Bottomline: The feeling he had was that I was spying on him for the UAW or someone more powerful. He’s being psychologically manipulated and I’m helping them do this to him. He doesn’t trust anything I say or even being around me. Trust me, I’m still confused but hey – maybe entering the institution of marriage – isn’t in the cards for me. I still believe in love but at this point, I’m not sure if I even want to go through this again. This one hurt more than any other. The reason for this is because I’ve done none of what he believes and I truly felt I had found my best friend and life partner in this man. I stayed single for so long and when I opened myself up again, BAM I got hit. Understand this is the one thing I was protecting myself from and it still happened. Feel free to listen. There is more but I just wanted to share a piece. My truth is all that matters to me. Something that I’m not aware of happened (mental health issues) and he needed to push me away.
Book Author Ambitions – This year I decided to write a book. After writing this blog for 5 years and putting this idea on the back burner, I’m finally going to dedicate some time to finish it. If you follow me on Facebook, you can find out the title. I can promise you – it won’t be a short story. 🙂
New Assignment – In June, one of the best bosses I’ve ever had transitioned to the next chapter in his professional life. We truly had a great working relationship and you all know how much I enjoy stability but I had to accept this. His transition spearheaded mine and that included me moving away from everything I was familiar with except my parking garage. Lol, that had to remain the same. I may have started kicking and screaming. Moreover, this was my opportunity to show my worth on the team. Display that I had grown from the time I had joined the company. I had become more proficient and knowledgeable in the role. More importantly, this showed me they trusted me to transition seamlessly and learn about the new business organization I would be supporting. What I didn’t know was, this was only the beginning. At the end of November, I was informed I would be supporting our newest Senior Executive Leader. Wow! As word got around, the congratulatory messages and visits came and none was more surprising than that from Captain Stadwick. I still call him boss and always feel like I represent him and Rebecca. That’s the type of person I am – I just don’t want to disappoint the people that believe/support me. My new director seems nice and I’m sure we’ll build a great working relationship. Do I see you on the horizon STABILITY!? 🙂
Kid Graduating – I’m still excited about that kid graduating. He’s sincere about getting a degree. I think my sermons about making a life for yourself got through to him. With one semester under his belt, he’s still excited about school. We’ve experienced some bumpy roads but it was time for me to let him go & grow. He’s becoming his own man and there’s not much I can do for him at this point. He needs to work those things out for himself. I’m a little nervous about some military conversations he’s been having with some soldiers. I mean who would want their child to be in the military with a leader like 45. I’m not putting that guy’s name in my post but feel free to figure out who I’m talking about. Him graduating was certainly a major highlight of my life.
Lance – Y’all remember when I 1st start talking about getting a new car. I still love Cole but it was time for me to move on. After talking to our Technical Assistance Team, I settled on the CTS. Let me just tell you – I really love all the bells and whistles included in this vehicle. Eff all that – I love this car as a whole. The connectivity is unmatched. I haven’t even had it one year but I know I’ll be a repeat customer. It’s perfect for me. Don’t get me wrong there’s a vehicle from each of our brands that fit me. Buick LaCrosse, Chevrolet Silverado & GMC Yukon Denali. This Cadillac just spoke to me. Now, to try out the manual features when the weather breaks and only God knows when that’ll happen around Detroit.
This hair – I still have my edges, more silver strands and it’s getting thicker. My plan is to wear wigs for the entirety of 2018. In addition, I will be doing chebe, hair supplements and deep conditioning on a regular basis. Some essential hair care practices were neglected throughout the year. My goal is APL by the end of 2018. I believe I can do it. So many stresses that were buried in my mind have eradicated themselves or I’ve made a pact to not allow them to drain me anymore. My complete health is important to me and that includes my hair. It may not be billowing curls like Tracey Ellis Ross but it’s all mine. I heart my hair, still.
My favorite Asian – On a quick getaway to Battle Creek, Michigan, I bumped into an Asian store owner. I’ll be the 1st to tell you, I only remember 25% of what he said. The thing that will remain with me until I die is something he said about time. “To waste time is to waste your life.” Even one minute is waste…. I share this message with you, don’t waste one moment of your life.
LIVE…. I’ll see you in 2018 with more smiles. 🙂
Told you I’d be back with a post about my hair. I’m going to keep this post very sweet and short. I haven’t lost any hair. My hair is growing. A strict regimen is needed. The wigs may get a revival.
So, I’ve been growing my hair out since my cut last summer.
I can tell you it has grown since this picture. That’s solely due to my three girlfriends and flat twist. My comfort level with my natural texture has grown immensely. Straightening my hair almost brings me no joy beyond the initial day. I worry about heat damage and hair reversion, lol. I think you’re familiar with all my protective styles. I embraced the shorter wigs as well. My next will be a long straight model.
Over the summer, I decided to allow a stylist to wash and condition my hair once a month. This would allow me to keep up with trims and get a little relief from the dreaded wash day. I noticed my hair wasn’t shedding as much as normal. But, I was still messing up in an area or two. I wasn’t keeping up with my wash days. Allowing weeks go by without washing my hair or deep conditioning. Recent stress had snatched two plugs of hair from my scalp and I wasn’t happy about it. Back to the peppermint oil, I ran and added lavender, eucalyptus, rosemary essential oils and black seed. More importantly, I still had my edges!
The hair was recovering and I noticed a few more grays around the perimeter. Then I decided to get my hair straightened for a wedding and my anxiety was high. My stylists I absolutely trust with my hair were booked, one was preparing for a big show and the other was styling a wedding. (You better have multiple stylists you trust and I’m not about to argue.) DAMN DAMN DAMN! So, I remembered a stylist that was close to me and specialized in natural hair care, Meah. I set up an appointment and I put my tresses in her hands. Praying all would be fine when I washed my hair the following week.
She gave me a protein treatment, which I hadn’t had in ages, and proceeded to blow dry my hair. I felt safe when she pulled out the heat protectant and the Wild Growth hair oil. Then she hit me with the one line women hate to hear from any stylist – “you need a trim.” Wtf! Everybody tells me that- fuck it do it. I hate raggedy ends more than single-strand knots. After she finished, she showed me the remains on the floor. It wasn’t much and it appeared she just dusted the ends. I dared not show it on the outside but I was overjoyed.
Finally, I got caught in a light mist at the King HS homecoming game and the hair started to curl. 🙂 Then I made the choice to wash and DC like I had always done in the beginning of this journey and within minutes ALL of my curls and coils were accounted for. Meah, definitely had my stamp of approval and considering I only wanted my hair washed/ blow dried once a month as a treat she certainly could be added to the rotation. I don’t remember how long it took me to wash my hair, condition and style it but it felt good. For the 4th time during this journey has a professional placed a pair of sheers to my mane and not chopped most of my hair off. I twisted my hair in those flat-twists and made a vow to never miss wash day for the remainder of this journey.
#Mission2020 has begun. “If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan to fit the goal.” My goal certainly has changed and I’m going to focus on doing my part to ensure I have the healthiest head of hair. Now when you see me in a few years with long Pippie Longstocking twists, remember I never gave up. 🙂
Have you had to re-evaluate your hair care regimen? What are your go-to methods for retaining length?
Going natural is all the rave and no, I’m not talking about my hair this time. (I’ll give you a few days before I drop that post on you.) I’m talking about household cleaning products, saying ‘No’ to processed food and removing any additional chemicals from your life. So one day while visiting with my best friend Google to research a medical concern (I know I know), I stumbled upon an interesting article about fibroids. It began to discuss the ways in which Western women handle that time of the month and the harms associated with the products we’ve come to rely on. I started to think about my own health and wanted to investigate the land of organic feminine products.
Well, where should one start to look when trying to make a very important decision such as this? Google! I was amazed by the options. Then Google called YouTube and I started watching reviews. Armed with so many opinions and TMI, I made a plan to try a few to select what was best for me. Now, I was headed to Target. I mean really, is there any other place that makes you feel good about spending your money even though you didn’t need any of the items you purchased, NO! There were a few options on the shelves and I decided to try the Honest brand first.
I couldn’t really notice a difference between these and my old Tampax Pearls. What was I suppose to be looking for? So, I just started to observe more closely and take notes. The first thing was the price. Eighteen (18) tampons in a box almost the same size as a softball and costs 2x the national brand for the same amount. At $6.99, you could have 34 tampons from the P&G company. The writing was on my receipt, “if you want a healthy lifestyle, you have to pay more for it.” Not to be discouraged, I took it in stride and decided to use these in between depleting my current stock – which wasn’t much but I’m not big on throwing away money. The next thing I noticed was the absorbency. It seemed like I was going through so many more of these. Super didn’t feel like super to me. That’s all I’m going to say about that without being too graphic. I appreciated the smaller packaging and fun colors. It just fit in my pocket and I felt secure in the protection it would offer me if I was too far from my desk or home. I noticed I wasn’t getting the headaches associated with this 3 to 4-day process. Then again that could’ve been in my head but hey I didn’t have no damn headaches. During this trial period (no pun intended), I decided to not use them when I was going to be home, running really quick errands or overnight. This would call for me to go back to purchasing pads. I have a few in my closet from a previous event and decided to use those before I bought more. Honest had a selection of thin organic cotton pads but the absorbency of the tampons scared me from going further with this company. It was time to try something else. Back to Target we go!
Cora was up next. The sleek packaging made me feel like a grown woman. It’s not candy, its a tampon and I don’t have to be ashamed. They were $6.99 as well for 18. What I noticed from the beginning was the comfort. These felt better to me. The headaches were non-existent still during the day and the absorbency was on point. A few times, I headed to the office restroom with urgency, only to find out everything was still okay. What a relief! In conjunction with this brand, I was trying out L. panty liners because Cora doesn’t have them. That kinda disappointed me because I wanted to use products from the same brand. This made me want to give Honest a second chance but I had already made my final decision on them. I noticed the tampons for this brand as well but I was set on using the ones in my cart. So, I left them right there on the shelf. In this decreet bag, were 100 liners for $6.49. There was value all over this purchase. At most, you use 12 a cycle. This is almost a yearly supply. BINGO! The liners are very comfortable and come in a plain white packaging. Something else I noticed (only while typing this post) the larger bag features smaller bagged quantities inside. Which is perfect if you’re a mom and you’re purchasing for a household or sharing with others. Something that should be noted about all the products I tested, none featured perfumes or any type of fragrance. In addition, it seemed as if the waste had changed color. Then again it could be because I’m becoming an old lady but I’ll take that up in a few years. LOL! I started doing more research on the Cora and L. brands. What I discovered was amazing – they have customizable subscriptions which can be delivered to your home and they’re giving back by donating supplies to young women around the world. These were my kinds of companies. This was very clever and with all this new information – I signed up for a subscription. Can you guess with which company?
That was probably a no-brainer. Let me tell you how this company won me over. It was all the black packaging. This was something I had never experienced. It was chic, adult and classy. Then they displayed all the storage options I would get. There’s a storage box for under the sink, on the vanity or nightstand. I was even thinking you could leave that in a powder room for guests. There’s the clutch, which you can store up to four tampons in and carry it with you. No, digging to the bottom of your purse looking for a tampons or them all falling out if you spill the contents of your bag on the floor. It carries really well and I leave it right on my desk to pick up and go when the time comes. And if that wasn’t enough, they threw in six (6) stowaways. This thing rolls like a lipstick, lol. Perfect for a clutch, with one tampon inside you’re good to out for a few hours. Just don’t try to do 9-5 with a stowaway. They’re meant for sharing with others but I had to keep a few for myself. 🙂
If you’re interested in trying organic feminine products, use code marleaz9682 @ www.cora.life.
At some point or another, we all have prayed for better days. Chaos or any of these – disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, upheaval, uproar, maelstrom; muddle, mess, shambles, free-for-all; anarchy, lawlessness, entropy, can truly destroy your future. You have to let go of that mess in its entirety. Doing this will allow you to attain everything the universe has for you.
Keep smiling while you’re letting go, living and planning for the future.
The flashy affair was over. Finals were happening in a few days and The Kid was ready. We attended the Senior Parent Breakfast and waited to pick up our cap & gown. You will notice I talk about this moment as if it were mine but we worked at this. So, we celebrated this moment together.
Now, this senior breakfast wasn’t a high point for me. Especially after I saw that buffet line. In true fashion, that kid knew I wasn’t about that life and he got my pancakes. Not wanting to be a brat I stood in line for the other portion. During the running around, we took this picture. Yup – he got me by a few inches! God answered my prayers. 😉 This was the final whoo rah for the seniors. The final grades were being calculated and the verdict would be announced the coming Friday. These 10 days were taking the longest time to get to us. This was the only moment we were really waiting on. I told you about part of our struggles to get here. See, his dad graduated out of summer school and he didn’t want to repeat that experience. We worked our asses off, he more than me but I kept a light fire under it to keep him on his toes. Then June 9th happened and he handed me this when we met up with each other.
For the 3rd time during this journey, I shed a few tears. He reached over and hugged me exclaiming “I told you I’d get it done.” This cap and gown made it real. I held on to that thing like it was mine because somewhere in my soul it was. I worried, prayed, and cursed to get him right here. I’m that teenage mom that had never even baby sat a child and here I was about to watch mine walk across the stage to accept his diploma. My expectations were firm but my methods kept changing but he did it. Yeah, it would’ve been easier if he had done it my way but this was his story. I needed to let him do it his way.
So the morning of the graduation was here, and I posted the picture that matched my mood. Hashtag #TheFinisher – I was beyond ready and I even packed a handkerchief.
This picture captured everything I was feeling about this meeting. In a graduating class of 262 students, all I could see was him. He strolled pass me as they marched in the theater of the Michigan Opera House. This was a long ceremony and for a short moment, I was ready to rip all the programs up because I didn’t see his name. When I found it in its respective area, #CarryOn. Then they asked the graduates to stand up and I was on my muthf’n feet -which happened to be in some 5″ heels but let’s go. Then I got this message: I remember this paper being in his room on his desk and of course he forgot it. Now, I gotta run down the aisle like I’m on the Price is Right. Then I got back to my seat and cheered for all the kids that spoke when they were on the phone with him, introduced to me, called me “Ma, Auntie & Ms. Wilson.” Then I saw him make his way to the stage. #Leego The announcer said Lorez Wilson and I lost it – screaming, clapping, jitting up the aisle (my footwork was unmatched) and I did all of this while taking pictures.
Did you notIce me mention I cried? NOPE! I had shed all the tears prior to this day. This day was for smiles. We did it. In 1999, this event seemed to be a million years away but with each passing year, I realized how close we were. As we made our way out to the streets of Detroit, I couldn’t wait to see him and congratulate him one more time. I found him in the swarm of black and yellow. His smile was as bright as the day but I saw something in his eyes. We snapped a few images in the daylight.
I asked to see the diploma and he told me they had to pick it up from the school later on. WTH DPSCD? We left headed to Joe Muer for lunch with Grandma. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you he cut his hair off prior to graduation. I was looking at a young man ready to make his mark in the world. Little did he know he had already done a good amount of that through me. I was different because and for him. He is the best part of me. Everything I never knew I needed.
While we were at lunch I learned his dad had not shown up to the graduation, after I gave up my opportunity to monopolize this event. I knew I saw something in his eyes at the theater. It was sadness. Afterward, he went and got a tattoo (how could I say no- I have 16) and I sat down to REST. I thank everybody that was on this journey with me. All of your help was and still is appreciated. You never left me out here to do this by myself. The village of Marti truly came through for this kid. There are so many to name but I’m positive I’ve already told you personally. Eternally grateful to you all for everything because I know your love for him is an extension of the love you have for me.
August 1st, while I’m sitting in my chair at work listening to inspirational music this little exchange occurred and it gave this chapter closure.
As we tackle this next mission, I’m positive he’ll be just fine but I’ll be right there to throw an assist if needed.
There’s nothing like a good sale when you have a few extra dollars. You almost can’t wait to give your money away for whatever tangible item it might be. Well, I must confess, I don’t like spending a lot of money. I like the classic combo of a sale price coupled with an exclusive coupon. So, one Saturday morning as I’m scrolling through emails I find this and jump right in the shower and prepare myself for the journey. I mean seriously, how could I turn this sale away. I love 1/2 off – not as much as 75%. 😉
The second-hand store has my heart. I’ve always had a love for old pieces. As a child, we would visit the antique market in the Eastern Market weekly. I didn’t get into buying clothes from the thrift store until I was an adult. It started in small boutique shops then I ventured into the larger chains. I’m hooked and I can admit it. Oakland County locations are the best and if you’re from around here you know what the OC means! So, I walked into the Value World location with no purse, comfortable shoes and nothing but time. Yup! I was prepared for the hunt through stale industrial detergent smelling items for little gems I could add to my wardrobe. (I’ll be sure to take you along for the next round in a few weeks to show you what it looks like.)
My methods are focused and success driven. I have an idea of what I need in my wardrobe and what sections may produce the unexpected steal. These are the areas I focus on when entering a large thrift store for fashion: work, trends, men’s.
The men’s department gave me a blue oxford shirt (I forgot to get a picture.) This is generally what I pick up from that section or a cardigan/sweater. It’s the tomboy in me that keeps me in that section. I like oversized sweaters and men’s dress shirts for casual days and weekend attire.
My shopping didn’t end with those 7 pieces. The journey continued as I sought out a few trending items. Kimonos, scarves, and sequins. Only one of these were fruitful – scarves. I like to wrap my hair/head up from time to time. Sometimes it makes an outfit grand. I only wanted the ones with great pattern or silk. Now, if a scarf embodied both of these characteristics, God bless us all. After searching each end cap’s selection of scarves, I walked outta there with 6. Some restraint was displayed because at one time while in the store I had 14 in my cart. Then when I got home I realized one of these things was hiding a secret. I’m not a label whore but I literally screamed when I saw it but it said Balenciaga. SCOOOOOOORE!!!!
The only hang up I have with Value World is their lack of fitting rooms. I’ve been spoiled by Salvation Armies, Mother Fletcher’s (RIP), and Lost & Found. The majority of your goods are clothing items and the return policy is non-existent. So, why wouldn’t you want to have at least one small area dedicated to physically seeing if this garment works for you? I mean, I literally had an in-store associate cover me while I got 50% naked to see if that black dress would fit nshit. Heaven help someone that doesn’t feel this motivated to make meaningful purchases in the second-hand store. I don’t care if the thing is only $5. It’s my money and I don’t want to waste it. Do better Value World!
These are the tags from my haul. Okay, not all of them but 80% is damn good. LOL! Now, add them all up and divide that by .50. I walked away from the register with 20 items for $45. BINGO! The time spent was well worth it. All of these items haven’t been placed into the rotation. Some are scheduled to go to the cleaners. The scarves, shorts, and tops have been washed in Tide/Downy Scentables being dried with a Bounce dryer sheet. That’s all I really need – ensure they are clean.
Since I began shopping at these type of stores, my anticipation about the mall is ever present. I don’t like spending full price and appreciate the individuality of secondhand finds. It almost guarantees I’ll be the only one with a specific garment on at a particular time and I relish in my individuality.
Are you a fan of the secondhand/thrift stores?
Scared. Unsure. And insecure ideas crossed my mind on a daily basis. Needless to say, I didn’t feel like myself. The woman I knew only a few years ago was gone. Only coming out in sporadic intervals within a week. How was I going to get back to me? Where had Marti gone and why had she abandoned me? Along with everything else going on – this had become a necessary emergency.
There were days when I would be on top of the world. Life was good on the outside. But something on the inside wasn’t quite right. I was experiencing drastic mood swings, my patience was none existent, tears appeared from some foreign origin and I was basically staying in the house. This certainly wasn’t in my character. I was attempting to talk through this with friends. But when you’re a strong person, I’m sure you can understand how difficult this can be especially when everyone is counting on you to be their ray of sunshine, silver lining, and positivity. So, that release that I was looking for I wasn’t getting. I tried some of my regular coping methods and those only proved to help for a moment. I tried ‘going into myself’ (this normally helps me recharge and recalibrate), writing my thoughts down and focusing on the big events of The Kid’s senior year of high school. But you probably guessed it – none of those worked either. I had to get out of this funk.
After some serious deliberation, I decided to contact a therapist for help. My health was the main reason I sought out professional help considering the events of 2016. Now, I’m sure you know/heard/read about the stigma of seeking mental health services in the Black community. “We don’t need professional help, that’s for white people, it’s a waste of money or pray about it.” These are some of the reasons they give for not getting help. Well, this was my response – I’m part caucasian with a little extra cash whose prayed about this and seeking professional help. I was tired of feeling this way and I had to do something about it and Castlight was there to assist me.
After finding the perfect fit for me (and that was determined by the tone of her voice when I spoke with her over the phone), I made an appointment. Was I scared? Simple answer – Yes. As I walked into her office I noticed, there was no stereotypical chaise to help me relax and bare my soul, a few pieces of art to catch the eye and 2 red leather chairs positioned across from each other. Taking a seat was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. In the first session, we identified several areas within my being that I had never acknowledged or even knew about. At the end of the session, she gave a “prescription.” This wasn’t medicine in the literal sense. These were the things I needed to do before I saw her again to get my ideas and thoughts lined up to assist with my healing/treatment. Before I walked out the door we scheduled my next appointment.
With every passing interaction, I could feel myself getting better. It was beyond psychological. I was rediscovering myself all over again. They say “7 is the number of completion” and the last time I went looking for me was exactly 7 years ago. I was in mourning. A bereavement period for the younger Marti. The stoic, idgaf, social introvert, let’s have a good time, solo travel, football mom Marti. Changes were happening all around me and I had to accept my place in all of it. My kid was an adult to a point and I was anxious about his next steps. There was a lot of movement going on at work. I felt stuck due to aging parents. I’m technically being given a 2nd wind. My relationships weren’t the same. I needed to find and do the things a more mature Marti wanted to do. And due to me not wanting to hurt any feelings, be viewed as selfish or revert back to the person I was 7 years ago, I was mentally fighting everything. My worth was being re-evaluated. New Marti needed me to love her as much as I loved the one from days gone.
I started to slow down and process/unpack things more carefully. What I didn’t realize was I wasn’t letting go of everything. Some traits, behaviors, and ideas would remain while others faded and that’s okay. I was still in here I just had to embrace the new me in all its entirety. Honestly, I have noticed a change in myself since the therapy began. I’m not afraid of my thoughts and sharing them (even if that means I need to finesse the delivery.)
I went back and forth about posting this but I said: “wth this is my life.” Maybe my journey will help someone seek out the help they feel they need. Within this post, you will find a few links with additional information. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out.
As we age, we have to grow for true maturity. Staying in the same head space and sometimes even the same place can hinder us. Evolution is uncomfortable. You’ve become familiar with one set of norms and growth challenges you to be someone different.
I know it’s scary but with every day your life should become enriched with ideas and opportunities of growth. This in no way means you’ll have a new personality on a daily basis. If for some reason this happens, please seek professional assistance. At 30+, I don’t even think of things the same as I did at 30. I can truly say I’m growing, opening up to new experiences and looking for a every opportunity to smile. 🙂
The purpose of my life may not be clearly visible but I’m acknowledging I want to get there. I believe everyone on this earth wants to live in their purpose – but how will you know if you’re stuck in the same spot. In order to discover everything or even a portion of what it feels like to live in your purpose you have to break away from some norms. Embrace the uncomfortableness of the process and BE GREAT.
Have you noticed your evolution? Was it a welcomed change?
I left you all with a helluva cliffhanger. You knew The Kid turned 18, is a senior in high school and scheduled for graduation. It’s about time I bring you up to speed. The picture from He’s 18, is from his senior pinning ceremony. Our next event was prom and after some teenage drama, we arrived in style for the big dance.
First of all, he did the whole prom-posal thing and the young lady accepted only to decline his invitation weeks before the event. Never to be outsmarted, he decided to go by himself. Then one day he calls me at work and says ‘he has a date’ – WHAT!? Within minutes, I see a face I remember and the dress she’s chosen to wear. We were officially on a mission to find him the perfect complimentary suit. He’s a classy kind of guy with his mother’s sense of style. 😉
We spent days looking for the perfect floral jacket, bowtie, and pants. Then it all happened at once. Dinner jacket – found and the other parts just came to us, all at reasonable prices and Auntie submitted her order for it all. We’re not rich people and refused to go broke for one event. Then there was the rental car situation and Grandma came to the rescue in that area. Then the barber, Arf, gave him a cutting edge haircut to go with the look for the evening. His date asked me to bring some chicken to the send-off. (You know that’s what the young kids have nowadays. Everyone comes over to one location to see the couple off to Prom. There’s food, balloons, red carpets, backdrops, and lots of pictures.) After I picked up the chicken, I was on my way to see my kid which was ahead of me by 45 mins.
I showed up and to my surprise, my sister was in town to see her #1 guy go to the prom. My family gathered at the young lady’s home. She looked adorable and the jacket was a perfect match. As they rolled away in the Escalade, I told them to have a nice time and her parents stated her curfew. What they didn’t know at the time was their daughter probably had the safest date in SE Michigan. But I had to see things through their eyes, he was the driver and responsible for her safe return afterward. Here’s a picture of the two of them prior to leaving for the Roostertail. They both returned home at a respectable hour both reporting they had a good time. For a good portion of his life, I thought of this day and what it would feel like for me. I can truthfully say I felt proud. He was a door holding, well mannered young guy that a daughter’s parents didn’t have to worry about when they were out of sight.
The Prom was over, the jacket was the most asked about attendee and The Kid was on his way to Cedar Point (some traditions never change – they were doing the same thing when I graduated 19 years ago.)
It was a night to remember and I moment I will never forget. 🙂